"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
Shortly
after I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, the movie A
Beautiful Mind came out. The movie is a biography of Noble
Laureate John Nash and his experience living with schizophrenia in
the1950s. It is an intense movie. If you haven't seen it, I recommend
it.
Anyway,
at this point in my life, I was completely ruled by the symptoms of
my illness — primarily auditory hallucinations and delusions.
When I watched A Beautiful Mind, I learned a valuable lesson
that altered my ability to cope with my symptoms — reality
checking.
If
you talk to a mental health professional, he might believe that
reality checking is only used by people who live with schizophrenia
(or another psychotic spectrum disorder), but if you think about it,
don’t we all do it? Reality checking is a vital skill for
people living with or without any kind of mental illness.
During graduate school, Sarah frequently checked in with a trusted professor, Marj Olney, to verify whether or not things were as they seemed.
Think
about going to a party as a single person. It’s quite likely at
a party you might have seen someone looking at you, maybe even
someone you thought was cute. Many singles in this situation ask a
friend: Is she looking at me?Do you think he’s
interested in me?Should I ask her to dance?
Haven’t
we all checked in with a friend at some point in our life to confirm
a suspicion? Did you like that book? Did the Kung Po Chicken taste
too spicy? If you’ve ever asked someone an opinion, you have
“reality checked” a situation.
It’s
likely you “reality checked” with someone you trusted —
the more you trust the person, the more likely that you will believe
(and take comfort in their response). Well, it’s the same for
people living with mental illness.
The
first step in reality checking is to find someone trustworthy. Trust
is vital for several reasons. First, if a person is trustworthy, he
will give a straight answer. Second, a trustworthy person will not
make fun or light of the question.
Third,
(and probably most obvious), if you trust the person, you have no
reason to doubt what they say or think. A trustworthy person will
not be motivated by ulterior motives to give you a specific answer,
or to steer you in a specific direction.
Trustworthiness
also allows the person asking the question to know that a person will
take the question seriously. Making fun of someone or making light of
a reality testing question is downright wrong and will
instantaneously break the rapport with a person.
The
second step in reality testing is being able to recognize things that
seem out of place. If a person cannot recognize something out of the
norm, he will not recognize the need to question the veracity of the
situation. Recognizing abnormalities can be virtually impossible for
a person in the thick of symptoms, regardless of how absurd the
situation may seem.
Reality
checking can be risky because a person must expose the fact
that she has an illness. On the positive side, reality checking
demonstrates a person’s efforts to take control of the
symptoms. Ultimately, if a person is trying to gage their connection
with the world around them, he deserves a good honest answer from
you.
Before
you think that reality checking is something you’ll never do,
think of it from this perspective: we all need to take a personal
inventory of where our lives are headed, how we’re performing
at work, how to better meet the needs of your loved ones, how healthy
we are or how fast we’re flying down the freeway. Regardless of
the situation, regularly checking in with reality helps avoid lengthy
life detours, allowing us to keep on the straight and narrow path.
Sarah Price Hancock, a graduate of San Diego State University's rehabilitation
counseling Masters of Science program with a certificate psychiatric
rehabilitation.
Having embarked on her own journey with a mental health diagnosis, she is
passionate about psychiatric recovery. She enjoys working as a lector
for universities, training upcoming mental health professionals.
Sarah also enjoys sharing insights with peers working to strengthen
their "recovery toolbox." With proper support, Sarah
knows psychiatric recovery isn’t just possible — it’s
probable.
Born and raised in San Diego, California, Sarah served a Spanish-speaking
and ASL mission for the LDS Church in the Texas Dallas Mission. She
was graduated from Ricks College and BYU. Sarah currently resides in
San Diego and inherited four amazing children when she married the
man of her dreams in 2011. She loves writing, public speaking,
ceramics, jewelry-making and kite-flying — not necessarily in
that order.