Author’s
note: The following is the keynote speech I gave at the graduation
ceremony for people completing their recovery-oriented mental health
services at Project Enable, a division of Neighborhood House
Association on October 2, 2015.
Boy!
After hearing someone read a bio like that to describe me, you might
think, “Well, I have nothing in common with her —
standing up there with her Master’s degree, in her professional
clothing. She has a car, a ring on her finger, a full-time job.…”
But
the bio said nothing about the journey I’ve taken to get to
this point in my life. The bio said nothing about my diagnosis,
Schizoaffective Disorder — Bipolar type; two broken
engagements; nothing about my repeatedly letting my family down for
more than a decade; nothing about the command auditory hallucinations
I endured for 12 years or the roughly 49 psychiatric
hospitalizations, two institutionalizations, more than 100
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) treatments.
The
bio said nothing about my crushed dreams, abusive living situations
in which I’ve endured in crisis homes and group homes. It said
nothing about the suicide attempt or the weight my heart carried —
much like the one yours has carried.
It
said nothing about the three times I started graduate school and
failed, or about the hopelessness and despair which encircled,
threatening to drag me down further into the depths of hell, through
which I already walked. The bio said nothing about the loss of
self-identity or about how skilled I’d become in hating myself
and everything about my life.
I
stand here before you polished. You cannot see the 12 years it took
to learn how to live with my illness. You can only see me standing
before you now. If I hadn’t said anything, you would be none
the wiser. You might think, “Well, you’re different than
me. I’m worse.” I’d like to suggest that we’re
not that much different. I’m just further along the recovery
journey than you are. You are at the gateway.
In
2009, I was at the gateway of my recovery journey. I was the one
graduating from a mental health course. I was in your shoes. I had
just met my first Peer Support Specialist who had taught me the five
principles of recovery: hope; choice and accountability; empowerment;
creating a recovery environment; and finding meaning and purpose in
life — often through spirituality. During that course, NAMI’s
Peer-to-Peer class, I caught the vision on hope.
Hope
is the foundation on which you build. Hope springs from recognizing
that things can change. Hope is recognizing that on your recovery
journey, your rearview mirror is smaller than your windshield for a
reason.
Even
the people who invented the car understood a very basic principle: In
order to get anywhere in life, you must face forward. It’s okay
and even important to occasionally look back and see where you have
been — but to move forward, you must face forward and look up,
watching the journey unfold ahead.
Choice
and accountability is the second pillar of recovery. Take the wheel
of your life. You’ve learned many wellness tools while in this
program. Take a look at your Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) on
a daily basis.
Choose
to act on your WRAP. Some days will be more difficult than others —
because you are human and life can be hard, very hard. Choose to take
the wheel of your recovery journey. Steer where you want your life to
go, acknowledge that with every choice you make, there will be
consequences.
Sometimes
we shudder when we hear the word consequences because for some reason
we don’t focus on the positive consequences of our actions,
like the feeling of self-respect that comes from taking a shower in
the morning or the feeling of pride that comes when an employer
chooses to call you for an interview.
Focus
on what goes well, but more importantly, focus on why it went
well. If you understand the why, you can make it go well again
next time. In your recovery journey, you must take the wheel; no one
can do it for you.
The
third pillar of recovery is empowerment. You have control of the gas
and the brake in your recovery journey. You can choose how fast you
want to go and you also have the power to decide when it’s
appropriate to slow down to be cautious or to enjoy the view.
Remembering
to use your wellness tools on your recovery journey is just as
important on life’s road as filling the tank, checking the oil,
rotating the tires and regular maintenance.
Recovery
is not a straight journey. I look at it more like an upward spiral.
There are speed bumps, potholes and even detours. For that reason, it
is always best to dream. Dream big.
Dreaming
about your goals and the things you want to do in your life will help
you through the rough and ugly times — because we know those
times will come. But just like any journey, there will come a day
when you will arrive and park at what you once thought was your
destination.
In
that moment, you will look back on how far you’ve come and
realize that what you are a new and better person because of where
you have been, what you have seen and the people you’ve met on
your journey. Use your life’s lessons to lift others and create
a recovery environment for others, the fourth pillar of recovery.
Recovery
environments don’t spontaneously happen; they must be
consciously created. Listen to the language you use to describe
yourself. Look at the people you surround yourself with. Look at what
you choose to do with your life to make recovery happen. Look at your
dreams and goals.
Then
break them down into smaller, bite-sized tasks so that maybe, just
maybe you can achieve them, rather than beating yourself up with
them.
Always
remember: there is no deadline on potential. If you had told me seven
years ago that I would be standing before you today — as the
guest keynote speaker for your graduation — I would have either
gotten mad at you for making fun of me and a life I could only dream
about or laughed at the absurdity. But I kept dreaming, and look at
where it got me.
The
fifth pillar of recovery is finding meaning and purpose in your life.
Many people find that through spirituality. Use your WRAP to create a
map for your recovery journey. Develop whatever brings your hope.
Strengthen whatever inspires you and then light the path for others
like us to follow.
It
took me 12 years to find the gateway to my recovery journey. Recovery
doesn’t mean the end to an illness. Mental Illness is chronic.
Recovery means rediscovering who you are and achieving what you would
like to become. You are at the gateway of recovering your life. Here
I stand six years into my recovery journey. Where will you be in six
years?
Sarah Price Hancock, a graduate of San Diego State University's rehabilitation
counseling Masters of Science program with a certificate psychiatric
rehabilitation.
Having embarked on her own journey with a mental health diagnosis, she is
passionate about psychiatric recovery. She enjoys working as a lector
for universities, training upcoming mental health professionals.
Sarah also enjoys sharing insights with peers working to strengthen
their "recovery toolbox." With proper support, Sarah
knows psychiatric recovery isn’t just possible — it’s
probable.
Born and raised in San Diego, California, Sarah served a Spanish-speaking
and ASL mission for the LDS Church in the Texas Dallas Mission. She
was graduated from Ricks College and BYU. Sarah currently resides in
San Diego and inherited four amazing children when she married the
man of her dreams in 2011. She loves writing, public speaking,
ceramics, jewelry-making and kite-flying — not necessarily in
that order.