"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
Medications, Micronutrients and Mental Health (Part II)
by Sarah Hancock
I
sit staring at a plastic toolbox. My parents were required to provide
it for me when I moved out of their house and into my first group home
back in 2002 or 2003. It contains all of my prescriptions. It has
accompanied me to every group home, crisis house, institution and
apartment for the past 13 years — a vital component of my daily
regimen.
Twice,
and at times, thrice a day I’ve dug into that toolbox to pull
out the pharmacological medication that was attempting to normalize
the imbalance in my brain’s neurotransmitters. Daily I
begrudgingly swallowed the medication, desperate to somehow pull
myself out of the nastiness of psychosis, suicidal depression and
mixed mania.
My
reasoning for rigid medication compliance was pretty basic. I knew
where I’d been mentally and was compelled to comply out of fear
that forgetting just one of the four-to-eight pills would plummet me
back into the hell from which I’d emerged.
In
my 18 years with this illness, I’ve tried 37 different
medication cocktail combinations. Each prescription drug arrived in a
stash of multiple bottles that I diligently, tightly crammed into the
toolbox. Bottles of varied sizes and shapes required my becoming an
expert Tetris player.
Each
bottle had to fit into the toolbox because when I lived in facilities
other than my own home, the toolbox was locked so that others
couldn’t accidently (or intentionally) steal my meds. I hate
that toolbox. I hate what it stands for — my life, locked
tightly in a box.
In
2009, I learned about the Recovery Movement’s term, Recovery
Toolbox, to describe a collection of Recovery or Wellness
Tools (coping skills). It intrigued me because I understood the
crucial part my own literal toolbox played in my mental welfare —
or should I say warfare.
As
I became more adept at using the newly discovered wellness tools,
I became very effective at quelling symptoms before they exploded
florid and full-blown. I still had symptoms. Mental illness is
chronic, but I learned to rein them in using both toolboxes.
When
I began taking micronutrients, it was impossible to cram them into my
plastic toolbox. There literally wasn’t enough room. Instead,
the micronutrient bottles sat on top. I was okay with that because I
actually have a separate box for all the over the counter stuff we
use in our home when someone gets sick.
I
never mixed the two boxes, partially due to insufficient space and
partially due to my compulsive desire to keep like things together. I
mean sure, the micronutrients help symptoms of my mental illness, but
technically they are just vitamins and minerals, things that I could
buy over the counter. Consequently I didn’t feel they qualified
to fit into that plastic toolbox, which made me feel more willing to
take them.
Initially,
the micronutrients made a sudden shift in my mood. I say sudden
because I am used to the 6-8 week process that accompanies getting
adjusted to any psychiatric mediation. With just 72 hours worth of
the “daily recommended dose” of micronutrients in my
system, all of the severe symptoms of depression that I discussed
with my doctor (exhaustion, low motivation, and suicidal thoughts,
etc) began to dissipate.
As
I mentioned previously, initially I thought it was a placebo effect.
I mean, 72 hours is an unheard of turn-around time for nearly
complete symptom relief when discussing psychiatric symptoms.
However, as time wore on, I realized it couldn’t be a placebo
effect. Here’s why:
I
continued taking my prescribed medications as directed by my doctor.
After I’d taken the micronutrients for about a month, my brain
started feeling weird. It was like the sluggishness returned,
accompanied by fogginess, comprehension problems and several other
brain-related symptoms.
I
figured that the placebo effect had worn off and called the
micronutrient support line to let them know how I felt — both
literally and figuratively. They mentioned that it was common for the
brain to equilibrate the micronutrients and that what I was
experiencing sounded like I was now over-medicated.
They
counseled me to counsel with my doctor as to how to make a medication
adjustment. I thought about it. In my 17 years of medications, I had
experienced being over-medicated and, yes, it did feel like I was
currently feeling. I made the call to my doctor.
We
reviewed my medications, I talked to him about my symptoms and let
him know that I wasn’t experiencing any symptoms of my illness.
He listened to my self-analysis, asked some questions and we decided
together that perhaps I was over-medicated. He titrated me
down 25mg of one of my four medications and we decided to wait
see what happened.
Nothing
happened. It was odd. Normally when I titrate off a medication, the
whole chemical imbalance begins to awaken and shift my mental state
into chaos. This time, nothing shifted. I waited for a week. In the
past, if I’d titrated down on a medication, within a week I was
calling my doctor in a panic because of the increase of symptoms.
This time, nothing. Nada. It was weird.
Little
by little, the process continued, I’d take the regular dose of
my medications and the recommended dose of the micronutrients.
Several weeks into the process, my brain would start to get foggy and
hazy and so I’d call the micronutrient support people who would
give me a recommendation and then I’d call my doctor and
discuss it with him, resulting in lowering the dose of another
medication. Weeks became months.
During
this period of time, a whole host of other things were going on in my
life. I was somehow managing to work about 55 hours a week at a
full-time, part-time and per diem job. My sweetie and I have always
been hyper-alert for symptoms and stress, and he really does an
amazing job at working with me to make sure our needs both temporally
and spiritually are met, but the cost of living in southern
California is outrageous.
My
balancing three jobs in addition to his job is the only way to keep
the roof over our head, food on the table and gas in the cars. It’s
not ideal, but it’s required.
During
the past seven months, in addition to the employment stress, we
nearly got evicted because of our exchange student, kicked out the
exchange student, realized our new financial situation required a
smaller apartment, located a new apartment, began packing, had a
sudden and unexpected death in the (out-of-state) family, ward packed
up/scrubbed down our apartment while we attended the funeral, came
home to a packed van and moved to our new apartment.
Additionally
my step sons (twins) graduated from high school, my husband changed
jobs, my step-daughter graduated from college, we figured out how to
unpack our belongings into an apartment half the size of the one we
left behind, the semester ended for one graduate level class I teach
and began for a newly redesigned graduate level course which I was
invited to co-teach by a professor who quit two weeks into the
semester.
I
traveled and presented at the Psychiatric Rehabilitation
Association’s conference (after being separated from my
traveling companion when our cross-country flight was cancelled) all
while keeping pace at my main job. Did I mention that in the middle
of all this my health insurance changed, requiring me to leave my
original doctor and find a new one?
Any
human might have been overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding
the past seven months. Gratefully I have my toolboxes. Prior to
learning my wellness tools, I would have been incapacitated after
just one of the events. Using “tools” from all three
toolboxes, I was able to not just endure, but enjoy the events of
these past seven months.
How
on earth was it possible? Divine intervention. As Heavenly Father
often works, the divine intervention was subtle. It came in the form
of hugs, smiles and action by multiple ward and family members. It
also happened as I readily accessed my proverbial wellness toolbox
and activating my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP).
But
I really believe that it wouldn’t have been possible, if I
hadn’t been able to stabilize the chemical imbalance within my
brain by taking the micronutrients and relying on the micronutrient
support helpline.
Micronutrients
are comprised of vitamins and minerals. A man named Dr. David Thomas
completed a meta-analysis of 225 clinical studies by other
researchers about mineral deficiencies/imbalances and their
connection to mental illness.1
This graph illustrates the correlation between mineral imbalances/deficiencies and mental illness. It is based on the results of a meta-analysis of 225 clinical research studies. (Graph created by Aaron Davidson.)
The
interesting thing I find in his results of his analysis lies not only
his identification the imbalances/deficiencies but also in how so
many mental illnesses overlap with deficiencies. In my mind, this
makes sense because when Doctor In was first starting to diagnose me
(after multiple hospital stays) he told my parents, “Just when
I think I understand which illness Sarah has, the symptoms change and
she no longer fits into that diagnosis. I’ve concluded she has
Sarah Syndrome.”
The
symptoms of whatever it was plaguing my brain were so overwhelming,
yet so erratic that he’d named the syndrome after me. My
symptoms ranged from agoraphobia, panic disorder, PTSD, Borderline
Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder (rapid cycling between mixed
mania and severe suicidal depression), psychosis (auditory, visual
and tactile), and catatonia.
In
short, I was pretty messed up. Gratefully, rather than give me a
shopping list of diagnoses, he finally settled on schizoaffective
disorder — bipolar type with catatonia. Later I was also
diagnosed with PTSD.
Keeping
that in context, this chart of mineral imbalances/deficiencies helps
me better understand why symptoms and illnesses overlap. From this
picture, it helps me understand that my list of diagnoses actually is
a list of mineral deficiencies/imbalances. If I can get those
imbalances squared away, I can start healing my brain.
Could
my symptoms simply be a manifestation of nutritional deficits? I am
not the most healthy eater in the world, but I do know that my body
doesn’t absorb vitamin D like it should. Could I really
minimize my symptoms by paying close attention to micro-nutrition?
Yes.
In
fact, now that I’ve been taking the micronutrients for seven
months, I have effectively titrated myself off all three medications
(antipsychotic, mood stabilizer and anti-depressant) I used daily and
the two I used “as needed.”
In the back are all the medications I used to take. In the front is the one bottle of micronutrients I take now.
Technically
you can go to the health food store and buy them all in the
appropriate proportions and take them. The difference is the 96-hour
chelating process that allows the micronutrients to pass the
blood-brain barrier (that's why it's referred to by Q Sciences as
Q96).
If
you were to go and purchase the vitamins and minerals from a health
food store, since the chelating process is not the same, the
nutrients will not be absorbed properly in your body, will not
penetrate the blood brain barrier and consequently will pass through
your system without the same affect. In other words, you will
have very expensive urine.
My
brain seems to enjoy these micronutrients. My mood is back to normal,
my ability to concentrate increased and oddly my memory is improving,
too. My brain chemicals are balanced and I feel more normal that I
have in the 17 years since my first psychotic break.
But
what really blows my mind is that I have now completely titrated off
all of my prescribed medication. Yes, you read that right, little
Miss Sarah Syndrome is, for the first time in 17 years completely off
psychotropic medications.
For
the past three weeks, my blue and white plastic prescription toolbox
has sat gathering dust in the corner of my bedroom. Previously I felt
like my life had been trapped inside it, now I feel as though I’ve
been set free. I have mental clarity I haven’t enjoyed since
freshman year of college and mood stability I’ve never before
experienced — until now.
Who
knows what lies ahead? I’m excited to find out.
1 Thomas, D. (2007). The Mineral Depletion of Foods Available to Us as a Nation
(1940–2002) — A Review of the 6th Edition of MCance and
Widdowson. Nutrition and health, 19(1-2), 21-55.
Sarah Price Hancock, a graduate of San Diego State University's rehabilitation
counseling Masters of Science program with a certificate psychiatric
rehabilitation.
Having embarked on her own journey with a mental health diagnosis, she is
passionate about psychiatric recovery. She enjoys working as a lector
for universities, training upcoming mental health professionals.
Sarah also enjoys sharing insights with peers working to strengthen
their "recovery toolbox." With proper support, Sarah
knows psychiatric recovery isn’t just possible — it’s
probable.
Born and raised in San Diego, California, Sarah served a Spanish-speaking
and ASL mission for the LDS Church in the Texas Dallas Mission. She
was graduated from Ricks College and BYU. Sarah currently resides in
San Diego and inherited four amazing children when she married the
man of her dreams in 2011. She loves writing, public speaking,
ceramics, jewelry-making and kite-flying — not necessarily in
that order.