There
are many people who come into our children’s life that we do
not choose. Primary teachers, school teachers, “interesting”
neighbors are but a few.
However,
there are others we do choose. Caregivers, private music teachers,
and sports coaches are among them. All of these people have the
potential to influence our children a great deal. As the Nigerian
saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
At
this time of year, I am often asked for advice on finding a good
piano teacher. Like most types of private teachers and coaches, there
is absolutely no regulation in the U.S. of private music teachers.
Indeed, the person who styles your hair is required by law to get
more training than is the person who styles your child’s
talent.
So,
parents find themselves at a loss when it comes to choose a private
music teacher. I am sure the same quandary exists for any type of
private tutor — be it for math or tennis. When anyone can say
they are a violin teacher or a calculus tutor, parents and children
usually have nothing to rely on but word-of-mouth recommendations and
Craigslist.
Having
fielded this question several times, and trying to find good matches
for my own children, I have learned some helpful procedures parents
can use to thoughtfully add people to their “village.”
First,
parents need to know what they are looking for. Like walking into a
car dealership not knowing if you want a minivan or a sports car,
trying to find a private teacher without having first made a list of
what you want in a teacher is a recipe for disaster, and you may end
up just going with whatever you find first or whoever makes the best
sales pitch.
Some
questions that can help you decide what you really need in a teacher
are:
Are
you looking for a highly competitive environment for your child or a
more nurturing one? How much emphasis do you think should be placed
on performance (like recitals in music or dance, or matches and games
in sports) versus skill development?
You
know your child best: with what types of authority-figure
personalities does he do best? How important is it to your child to
choose the music they learn or position they get to play on a team?
Does he work better alone or in groups?
Are
there specific approaches or methods you have heard about that you
are interested in for your child? How
much of the family’s time budget and financial budget are you
willing to dedicate to this endeavor? What
is the one most important thing you want your child to get out of his
lessons?
Does
your child have as much interest in these lessons as you have in your
child participating in these lessons?
If
your child is old enough to be doing their homework on his own, (this
seems to happen usually somewhere between 10 and 12 years old), I
believe he should be involved in this discussion. What does your
child most want to get out of lessons? After all, it is he who will
be doing the practicing.
Once
a parent knows what she is looking for, the next step is to identify
the pool of teachers you have available in your area. Word-of-mouth
recommendations are a great way to find potential teachers and
tutors; many colleges and universities have lists of community
professionals — for example, you can call the music department
of your local college and ask if they maintain a list of local viola
teachers.
Also,
many private teachers belong to professional organizations with
national websites that allow you to search your area for any local
members.
In
the music field, some of these are: American String Teachers
Association (ASTA), National Association of Teachers of Singing
(NATS), Music Teachers National Association (MTNA), Organization of
American Kodaly Educators (OAKE), and Suzuki Association of the
Americas.
I
imagine there are also organizations and college departments that can
help you find dance teachers, math tutors and tennis coaches; I am
not as plugged into that world, so I can’t help you there.
This
step is a lot like deciding which make or model of car you are
interested in; now you must narrow it down to the exact car you want
to drive off the lot.
The
third step is contacting individual teachers by telephone and/or
email and asking them questions you have developed after following
the first step and identifying what characteristics of a studio or
teacher are most important to you.
Remember
to respect the time of the people you are interviewing; ask if they
have a Studio Policy page or a website they can refer you to in order
to answer your questions, or ask if they give interview lessons for a
charge.
Also
be aware that many of the very best teachers have studios that are
full and they are less likely to answer generic emails that have
clearly been sent to a whole list of teachers. They know that
desirable students will come to them because of their reputation and
they don’t need to spend their time selling themselves to you.
Calling
them and actually speaking to them is a much better way to feel out
this type of teacher.
Fourth,
ask for an interview lesson or a chance to meet the teacher in
person. Different teachers handle this different ways. Some will let
you observe another student’s lesson; some will charge you for
one lesson to come and let your child meet them and discuss their
philosophies.
For
more advanced students, some will require an audition and your child
will be expected to perform something at the first meeting.
Lastly,
realize that whomever you choose will have the potential to shape
your child’s life in significant, meaningful, and sometimes
unpredictable ways. I think it is appropriate to make the choice of a
private teacher a matter of prayer and discussion between all parents
and the child.
It
is also okay to change your mind. If you are not sure if a teacher is
the right fit, ask for a trial period. At the outset, plan an exact
number of weeks or months with the teacher, with a plan for a
parent-teacher conference at the end of that time.
As
a teacher, I often suggest this to parents when I am not sure my
expectations and philosophies are really a good match for them. It
gives me a chance to voice any concerns or tell the parent I don’t
think I am good match for them or their child’s needs after I
have tried to work with them and really know what will be involved
with teaching their child.
I
have also had parents request a trial period when they are not sure
if their child will enjoy the piano or whether their family has the
time and resources to commit to it. When the trial period is
pre-determined, it is less likely there will be insult or hurt
feelings if one party decides to back out at the end of the trial.
Also,
remember that just as you are scrutinizing the potential teacher, she
is scrutinizing you. Are you the type of parent that will back up her
practice expectations of your child at home? Will you respect her
policies and procedures? Will you hover over your child incessantly
or let your child learn from his mistakes? What will you expect from
her as your child’s teacher?
Choosing
a private teacher or tutor for your child can be a time-consuming
task. However, just like choosing a car, it can have a daily effect
on your family for many years, so the time is well spent.
I
cannot tell you how many parents come to me after suffering with a
teacher that was a poor match for their child for many years;
sometimes a very talented child has grown to absolutely hate music
because of such experiences, and the parent is trying desperately to
find a way to turn back that clock.
This
past weekend I attended the wedding reception of one of my former
students (she was the bride). I have been working with one child or
another in that family for 12 years now. The mother of the bride
expressed to me how significant an influence I have been to her
children’s life over the years, and thanked me.
I
could see in her kind words to me my own future — hoping to be
able to someday thank others who have helped me raise my own children
by being another positive adult in their life. Indeed, when I stop
and think about it there have already been many such people in my
children’s life. I hope and pray that the Lord continues to let
me find fabulous people for my village.
Emily
Jorgensen received her bachelor's degree in piano performance from
Brigham Young University. She earned her master's degree in
elementary music education, also at BYU. She holds a Kodaly
certificate in choral education, as well as permanent certification
in piano from Music Teacher’s National Association.
She
has taught piano, solfege, and children’s music classes for 17
years in her own studio. She has also taught group piano classes at
BYU.
She
is an active adjudicator throughout the Wasatch Front and has served
in local, regional, and state positions Utah Music Teachers'
Association, as well as the Inspirations arts contest chair at
Freedom Academy.
She
gets a lot of her inspiration for her column by parenting her own
rambunctious four children, aged from “in diapers” to
“into Harry Potter.” She is still married to her high
school sweetheart and serves in her ward’s Primary.