"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
This
past week I had the privilege and honor of delivering the eulogy for
my cousin James, who at a mere 40 years old recently lost his battle
with cancer.
As
I had limited contact with him in adulthood with his Navy service and
living in separate states the rest of the time, I asked his five
siblings and mother for some of their favorite memories with their
brother and son. The picture of James that began to take shape
surprised me a little.
I
knew he was a single, never-been-married stalwart member of the
Church. I knew he had a gentle soul. What
I didn’t know is how much time he devoted to serving children.
He usually held callings in the Cub Scouts, starting when he was in
high school until the week he passed away.
He
reportedly loved helping the younger boys get ready for Scouting
proper. Also, he spent every other Saturday tending his niece and two
nephews because both parents had to work on those days.
And,
had he survived, he was planning on using his new Bachelor’s
degree to switch careers and teach middle school math — in my
opinion, a job only a saint would be willing to do.
Not
many single men spend their energy and time on someone else’s
children. It just goes to show that nearly anyone can have a positive
impact on a child.
I
remember reading once about a mother who had been elected to
parliament in her African country. This was when the AIDS epidemic
had torn through Africa sufficiently that there were more than one
million orphans who had lost their parents to the disease.
(Unfortunately, this is an ongoing problem today.) Her campaign was
simple. Her slogan was “Each one take one.”
She
estimated that if each healthy mother in her country took one orphan
into her home, the orphanages would be empty. Many mothers answered
this call.
I
have often thought about this remarkable woman, whenever I ponder if
there is a child out there that I am supposed to help that I am not
helping.
Obviously,
my own four keep me busy, and there are days I despair of taking
another into our home lest it drive me off the deep end. Also, I feel
my work as a private music teacher has a positive impact on the
children and teens I work with, and I find great meaning in that as
well.
But,
when I think of all the children suffering in the world — young
girls sold into sex trafficking, others forced into marriage before
they even hit puberty, babies sharing crib space with meth-making
supplies, and the slightly more familiar problem of drug-addicted
parents who lose their children to Social Services due to abuse or
neglect, it makes me a little crazy. It makes me want to do
something. Something.
There
are times when the only thing I can do is pray to God that He comes
soon, as he has promised, and wipes out the wickedness. I never used
to understand how anyone could pray for the Second Coming. Who wants
to be around during the wars, pestilences, fires, and earthquakes?
Are you crazy?
But
I do not know what else can save the children. At least, not as a
whole.
However,
I think you and I can do a lot to save one. Just one child.
One
of my relatives cannot imagine why I would even entertain the idea to
become a foster parent. And, indeed, my husband and I have decided
this is not the right time for us, but we intend to do it someday.
This relative asked me, “Why would you want someone else’s
messed-up child?” I couldn’t answer that, because it was
pretty obvious she would never understand why.
But,
after my husband and I decided foster parenting is not something we
can handle right now, I started to think about what I could do
right now. I talked to the social worker in charge of placing foster
children in the area and offered to give free piano lessons to a
foster child if she came across one who would really benefit from
them. She hasn’t called me yet, but at least I could offer.
The
last time our ward had a food drive I included baby food items. I had
never done that before, but I realized there was probably a need for
it I had never thought about.
I
volunteered to host Activity Days at my house while the regular
leader left town, to make sure the girls in our ward could still hold
their activities.
I
think if we are really looking for them, we can find ways we can fit
children into our life, regardless of our circumstances. Tending a
neighbor’s children, or hosting a playdate, or encouraging our
own children to seek out the “loners” at school and
befriend them, or sharing the excess of our gardens with the young
family down the street are all ways we can bless children’s
lives.
We
can smile at their silly antics in the middle of church instead of
frown at them for disrupting our very serious lives. We can accept
callings into the Primary, even if we feel too old or too tired or
too bored.
At
the very least, we can cultivate within ourselves a love and
appreciation for children. It is so pleasant, as a mother, to realize
the person in front of me in the grocery line is making funny faces
at my toddler instead of rolling his eyes at her annoying whining.
It
is lovely when someone holds the door open for me as I try to herd
all my children in the same direction at the same time. I feel much
safer when driving on a busy road with a car full of children and the
street is free from speeding, weaving, crazy drivers.
Thank
you out there, to all the people who work to make my children safe,
happy, and welcome. Let’s all do more of the same.
Emily
Jorgensen received her bachelor's degree in piano performance from
Brigham Young University. She earned her master's degree in
elementary music education, also at BYU. She holds a Kodaly
certificate in choral education, as well as permanent certification
in piano from Music Teacher’s National Association.
She
has taught piano, solfege, and children’s music classes for 17
years in her own studio. She has also taught group piano classes at
BYU.
She
is an active adjudicator throughout the Wasatch Front and has served
in local, regional, and state positions Utah Music Teachers'
Association, as well as the Inspirations arts contest chair at
Freedom Academy.
She
gets a lot of her inspiration for her column by parenting her own
rambunctious four children, aged from “in diapers” to
“into Harry Potter.” She is still married to her high
school sweetheart and serves in her ward’s Primary.