"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
I was out to dinner
with a few friends, when one of them shared a story about her
five-year-old daughter. About how this daughter was wearing a pretty
dress, and her mom/my friend suggested she wear a certain cardigan
with the dress. About how her daughter instantly balked at the
suggestion, replying vehemently that the cardigan “made her
look fat.”
Of course, our friends
and I all gasped in horror at the necessary place in the story,
sufficiently mortified that a five-year-old is concerned about
“looking fat.”
And for the record, she
isn’t. Not even remotely.
My son recently ran
into my bathroom and stepped on the scale, muttering something about
“all that cake he ate the night before” at his Nanna’s
birthday party. He is a very thin nine-year-old. I felt ill when I
heard him.
But for the record, my
husband has embarked on a much-needed weight-loss endeavor, and we
have been celebrating his success in this area.
Like so many other
things, weight matters seem to be shrinking and stretching to the
extremes. We have everything from rail-thin actors and actresses and
people who are “famous” for the most ridiculous things –
I want to shove a hamburger into their faces when I see them –
to the “Biggest Loser.”
I once wrote a story
for a prominent local children’s hospital about a teenage boy
who suffered from anorexia and bulimia, a boy who had been
hospitalized for his struggles with food and body image and all that
accompanies such a struggle. It broke my heart.
I once wrote a story
for the very same prominent local children’s hospital about a
weight-loss clinic for ‘tweens and ‘teens, a clinic that
strives to teach the children about proper exercise and nutrition. I
interviewed kids who can barely get through the most basic of
workouts and constantly think about sitting and playing video games,
and food. It broke my heart.
As parents, we have got
to do our part to teach kids and present them with a healthy,
balanced approach to, well, health and a balanced lifestyle.
What are we as parents
doing to build up our children, to teach them that how they feel is
more important than how they look? To teach them that their bodies
will stretch and grow, shrink and expand, and the important thing is
that they are doing their best to take care of those ever-changing
bodies? To remind them that their bodies are temples, and should be
treated as such, not punished to fit an image, but nourished to be
their healthiest and happiest selves?
The habits we are
exemplifying and teaching now can have lasting effects. It’s so
crucially important to teach children: the meaning of real beauty,
and how to recognize it in themselves and in others; the importance
of a balanced, healthy diet; and the need for regular physical
activity.
Do you read labels?
It’s astounding to me what can pass as “food” these
days. In the midst of writing this column, I received an e-mail from
a friend with an article about a powerful dairy lobby pushing the FDA
to approve aspartame – an artificial sweetener that I steer
clear of – as a milk additive without even being labeled. If
this is indeed true, it would be yet another way to rev up kids’
sugar-craving devices, thus becoming another contributing factor to
the rising obesity rates. Shameful.
Anti-sugar I am not. I
like it. I have to control that liking. Giving kids access to too
much sugar clearly has a negative outcome, but withholding it can
also have negative consequences. I view sweets as a once-in-a-while
thing. Even when my darling two-year-old asks after dinner, “can
we have any C-N-D-Y?” I am reminded of two things: 1. There is
no point in spelling around a toddler, he will call your bluff even
if he omits a vowel here and there and 2. It’s my job to
sometimes answer “yes” and sometimes answer “no.”
We can offer a variety
of foods at meal and snack time. Such items as fruit, vegetables,
string cheese, yogurt, healthy crackers and the like are fantastic
snack choices. I’ve been making granola bars that are easy,
healthy and cost-effective and the kids love them. Perhaps you’ve
Pinned them.
As much as we should
offer healthy snacks, we should offer continual and frequent
opportunities for exercise and play that does not involve a screen.
We’ve all seen the statistics on kids and screen time. Be the
exception. Family walks, family sports games, family bike rides and
similar activities not only promote health, they provide quality time
that results in lasting memories.
Let’s strive to
be examples and teach children to be less concerned with appearance,
and more concerned with health. Even if it means hiding away the
scale.
Melissa Howell was born and raised in the woods of northern Minnesota. She has a degree in
journalism from the University of Minnesota.
As a single 20-something, she moved to Colorado seeking an adventure. She found one, first in
landing her dream job and then in landing her dream husband; four children followed.
Upon becoming a mother, she left her career in healthcare communications to be a stay-at-home
mom, and now every day is an adventure with her husband Brian and children Connor (9), Isabel
(6), Lucas (5) and Mason (2).
In addition, she is a freelance writer and communications consultant for a variety of
organizations.
Melissa serves as Assistant director of media relations for stake public affairs and Webelos den leader