I have been going to the same
hairdresser for fifteen years. She is a very nice person. Even though
I never see her around town or socially, she gives me a Christmas
gift every year. And I know from how she talks that she really needs
the money.
But I don’t like the way she
cuts my hair. At every appointment for the past seven years, I have
explained that I want her to leave the top longer. I show her
pictures of how long I want it. And every time, she cuts it too
short. I think maybe she only knows how to do this one haircut.
I really, really want to go to
someone else, but I don’t know how to do it. How do I break up
with my hairdresser?
Answer:
If you want your hair cut in a
different way, by a different person, you will have to go to a new
stylist. There is no other solution.
Because your current stylist either
cannot or will not cut your hair the way you want it cut. You’ve
explained and showed pictures, and she has not provided what you
want. Seven years of bad haircuts is six years and ten months too
long.
Here is what you should do: Don’t
make another appointment with your current stylist.
Instead, start looking around at
your acquaintances’ hair. Whose hair do you admire? Whose hair
has a flattering cut and color? Ask that person for the name and
number of her stylist. Then call the stylist and ask how much he
charges. If it fits your budget, make an appointment. If not, keep
asking around.
At your first appointment, explain
how you want your hair to look, show some pictures of what you like,
and explain what you don’t like about your current style. Then
see how you like the new haircut.
Repeat this cycle until you find a
stylist you like.
As you can see, the mechanics of
breaking up with your stylist are simple: Don’t go back. Go to
someone else.
But you have other concerns—can
you leave the clientele of a nice but marginally-skilled hairdresser
who has plied you with an annual gift as well as tales of financial
woe?
Yes, you can.
One, you do not have to patronize
the business of every nice person you know. This includes nice people
with whom you have done business, even extensive business, in the
past. There is no rule that says you can’t change vendors,
restaurants, stylists, carpet-cleaners, doctors, etc., no matter how
long you have done business with them.
Two, you can change service
providers for any reason you wish, or for no reason at all. But
changing a service provider because he is providing a poor service is
actually a good reason to try someone new.
Three, every
stylist needs paying clients. Instead of paying someone who does a
poor job cutting your hair, you could support someone who does a good
job.
Four, the point of having your hair
cut is to have your hair cut. It is not to provide charity. I’m
sure you have plenty of other opportunities to provide charity. And
if you feel moved to provide charity to your current stylist, you can
send her an anonymous donation.
Do
you have a quandary, conundrum, or sticky situation in your life?
Click this button to drop Cyndie a line, and she’ll be happy to
answer your question in a future column. Any topic is welcome!
Cynthia Munk Swindlehurst spent her childhood in New Hampshire and her
adolescence in San Diego. She served a mission in Manaus Brazil. She
graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English and from
Duke University with a law degree.
She practiced law until her first child was born. She enjoys reading, tap
dancing, and discussing current events. She and her husband live in
Greensboro, North Carolina with their two sons.
Cyndie serves as the Sunbeams teacher in her ward.