"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
- - Gordon B. Hinckley
June 7, 2012
When Relief Society Runs Late -- Every Week
by Cyndie Swindlehurst

Question:

As soon as the clock strikes 4 p.m., I stand up and leave Relief Society. I realize this is rude, but I think it's rude of the teacher to continue past her time. I like to make a point. Am I wrong for doing this, or can I continue to take a stand?

Answer:

Do you flounce? Harrumph? Step on people's toes? Slam the door?

If you disrupt the lesson, you are being rude. If you slip out quietly, you are not being rude.

That's a technical point, however. I think you're actually wrong to ascribe rudeness to the teacher. Maybe she's just not as good as you are at time management. Even if she were being deliberately rude, it would be rude of you to point it out or retaliate. And you might ask yourself if all of this early-leaving has been effective. Has any teacher changed her ways?

The easiest solution here is for you to stop being offended and stay put.

Well, there is one other option. But only if you have a time-sensitive responsibility after church. In that case, you could tell the Relief Society president that although you hate to be rude to the teacher, you really must be on time to collect you little ones from Primary or drive the missionaries to their appointment or get to choir practice or whatever you have to do.

But if you have no good excuse for leaving promptly at 4, then I'm afraid you're stuck with my original advice. If you simply must express some emotion as you sit there, try looking increasingly concerned with every minute that passes after 3:55.

Do you have a quandary, conundrum, or sticky situation in your life? Click this button to drop Cyndie a line, and she’ll be happy to answer your question in a future column. Any topic is welcome!


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About Cyndie Swindlehurst

Cynthia Munk Swindlehurst spent her childhood in New Hampshire and her adolescence in San Diego. She served a mission in Manaus Brazil. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English and from Duke University with a law degree.

She practiced law until her first child was born. She enjoys reading, tap dancing, and discussing current events. She and her husband live in Greensboro, North Carolina with their two sons.

Cyndie serves as the Sunbeams teacher in her ward.

Visit Cyndie at Dear Cyndie
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