Editor's note: Marian Stoddard has been called away by a death
in the family and was unable to write a column this week. This column
first appeared on November 14, 2012.
When
we lived in Seattle, way back in 1976-78, someone sent us the
Seventh-day Adventist magazine. To the best of our knowledge,
we didn’t know any Seventh-day Adventists, but we received this
monthly magazine for maybe three years, and often found articles in
it that were thoughtful and worthwhile.
Once, there was a
quotation that struck me so forcibly that it remains a touchstone.
Ellen White, whose followers became the Seventh-day Adventists, was
part of the religious upheavals in New York that affected the Smith
family so much, and she understood how personal our personal God is.
She said, "The relationship between God and each soul should be
as distinct and as full as if that soul were the only one to share
his watchcare, the only one for whom he gave His beloved
Son."
Carlfred Broderick (author, therapist, and stake
president) told the story1
of giving a blessing to a woman who was at the end of her capacities
for coping, and becoming angry at the Lord. She had a newborn to
take care of and had called upon the priesthood for a blessing; this
pregnancy had been a miracle in itself, but now she felt abandoned as
she was very ill.
Days
had passed and she felt that nothing had improved; in fact, she was
worse. The words that came to him now said not one word about the
malady and misery she was still enduring, but said this same thing:
that if she were the only one to need the Savior’s atonement,
he would have offered himself for her alone. She was loved that
much. Once she allowed that to sink in, and relinquished her
assumption that healing had to happen on her terms, she found herself
made well. She had to understand his love first.
Let
that truth sink in. (And I love the word “watchcare.”)
If all of our Father's children could be saved, could make it back to
him on their own, except one, he would have given his Son, and our
Savior would still have offered up all that he did — for the
sake of one only. For any one. If it were you, if it were
me, if it were that person who sometimes makes you nuts, he
would have gone through all that he suffered for the sake of saving
that one.
That
is the depth of his love, and the depth of his knowledge of us, of
what we can become, of what glory and joy he wishes for us. We
are without price, of infinite worth, truly, being worth that
infinite cost.
It should make us look at each other
differently too. Our Heavenly Father and our Savior love that
person there so much that you cannot imagine it. They love you
so much that you can barely comprehend. All they ask is that
you treat those fellow-beloved ones with love. It puts a new
light on Paul's admonition to the Roman saints to have charity, as
they quarreled about the Law of Moses: “destroy not
him... for whom Christ died.” (Romans 14:15) We should
treat each other with tender patience.
If we could see who we
truly are, as sons and daughters of God, we would be in awe.
None of us are yet what we hope to be, but all of us have hope in our
Father's love and care. He will never forsake us or forget us,
though we may close him out. He will always be ready to draw us
in to the arms of his love.
1The
full Carlfred Broderick story is available in two places. It’s
a chapter in My
Parents Married on a Dare
(p. 132-137) or available as a small book, The
Uses of Adversity,
which is the title of the essay.
Marian J. Stoddard was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in its Maryland suburbs. Her
father grew up in Carson City, Nevada, and her mother in Salt Lake City, so she was always
partly a Westerner at heart, and she ended up raising her family in Washington State. Her family
took road trips all over the United States and Canada, so there were lots of adventures.
The adventures of music, literature, and art were also valued and pursued. Playing tourist always
included the local museums as well as historical sites and places of natural beauty. Discussions
at home, around the dinner table or working in the kitchen, could cover politics, philosophy, or
poetry, with the perspective of the gospel underlying all. Words and ideas, and testimony and
service, were the family currency.
Marian graduated from Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland, and attended the
University of Utah as the recipient of the Ralph Hardy Memorial Scholarship, where she was
graduated with honors, receiving a B.A. in English. She also met the love of her life, a law
student, three weeks after her arrival; she jokes that she had to marry him because her mother
always wanted a tenor in the family. (She sings second soprano.) They were married two years
later and have six children and six grandchildren (so far). She treasures her family, her friends,
and her opportunities to serve.
Visit Marian at her blog, greaterthansparrows. You can contact her at
bloggermarian@gmail.com.
Marian and her husband live in Tacoma, Washington. Together they teach those who are
preparing to go to the temple for the first time, and she also teaches a Stake Relief Society
Institute class.