My
youngest daughter called. She had talked about a major in psychology
for a long time, with a minor in Russian. Her application was in, but
the psychology program, which begins with the junior year, was very
competitive. She had bad news; she didn’t get a spot. We had
been waiting and hoping, because it was all she had wanted to do. I
commiserated, but there was more.
She had
finally gone in, as well, to take the university’s language
placement test in Russian, which I had been encouraging (read: mildly
nagging) her to do because I figured the more time elapsed, the more
disadvantage for her. They placed her as belonging in first quarter
Russian, despite a demanding high school program and the fact that
her best university grades were in her Russian lit classes.
“What?” I bristled immediately.
“That’s
ridiculous! After four years of intensive Russian, and after you
passed the IB test, they think you belong in beginning Russian?”
I was just getting wound up, flinging out the impossibility of such
a result, the need to appeal, asking how she could ask for a
review—you have to understand that her high school
International Baccalaureate test had required a written essay test
plus an oral exam analyzing selected Russian literary works, with no
English allowed in either instance. She was not a novice; but this
test was aimed at a different skill set, apparently. Russian 101?
“Mom!”
she cut me off. “There’s no time. Even if I did get the
test reviewed nothing would be changed fast enough to fix this. I
have to figure something out now.”
She had
determined that she could graduate on time with a Russian major, if
she took intensive Russian, five quarters’ worth, over the
summer. She had a friend who was doing that, and it would put her on
track to begin her junior year and meet all the department
requirements. So that was what she was determined to do. She was
off to figure it out, and jump through all the required hoops.
Her
scholarship officer said they would help cover the cost. That was
the first big hurdle. Then she needed a place to live, then the
registration deadline, money for books, and all the ordinary issues
of an unexpected change in plans when you’re a student. We had
planned on her coming home for the summer and finding a job. It
would be possible but miserable for her to live at home and commute
by bus; it would mean she would lose up to three hours a day, which
would sharply curtail both her study time and her much-loved
Institute of Religion activities.
She
called a few days later, and said, "You know how it is when you
are doing what you're supposed to do and everything falls into
place,” (I'm mentally nodding yes)”— and then
the opposition starts up?" (Oh.) She then detailed the
roadblocks that she had encountered and the steady resolution of each
one as she doggedly plugged away at the issues.
How
did she get to be so smart? I wondered as we
hung up. After our conversation I was left musing about how often we
get that first assurance of 'everything falling into place' and then
give up when the execution doesn't proceed smoothly into reality.
I had a bishop's counselor's wife in college who gave the young
sisters a talk that I’ve never forgotten. She said, when
you are making the wrong choice, you have to make it over and over
again. It won't stay settled. When you are making the
right decision, it clicks into place and won't be moved. It
stays calm in your mind. I have found that to be wise
counsel.
Sometimes we make the assumption, though, that the
right decision won't be anything but easy and painless. I don't
find that guarantee in my instruction manual. Can you point to
the page which says that in yours? Then when we have to hang on
and work through the problems that arise, we give up and say, I guess
I was wrong, this isn't what I was meant to do after all. After
all, if this is what the Lord wants, this—whatever the
difficulty is—wouldn't be happening. I thought that was
what he said to me, but I must have been mistaken.
Opposition
doesn't mean we were mistaken. Opposition comes with the
territory of life. Our Heavenly Father is not upset if we ask for
reaffirmation; he will repeat his assurances that we are on the right
track, and he will show us how to overcome the obstacles.
Opposition may mean, if you could only see, that what you are trying
to do matters very much. Really active opposition, in fact,
means that what you are doing matters a great deal, and Satan is
worried you might actually accomplish it.
The
last verse of an old standard hymn goes:
Be fixed in your purpose, for Satan will try you,
The weight of your calling he perfectly knows.
Your path may be thorny, but Jesus is nigh you,
His grace is sufficient though demons oppose.
(“The Time is Far Spent,” hymn # 266)
His
grace is sufficient. So, if you have prayed about what to do and
found an answer, if you are acting on the clarity of that answer and
are finding opposition, keep praying and keep going, because the Lord
promises it will all work out for your good, maybe in ways you can't
imagine right now.
Search
diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work
together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the
covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another. (Doctrine & Covenants 90:24)
You
know how everything falls into place and then the opposition sets
in? We probably all know those times. If it's the right
answer, keep following it. Just do what you should. The
Lord's promises beat out any other considerations.
Oh,
the daughter? She is doing well, after graduating with a degree
in Russian language and literature. She survived and thrived in a
department she loved. It was the perfect place for her.
Marian J. Stoddard was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in its Maryland suburbs. Her
father grew up in Carson City, Nevada, and her mother in Salt Lake City, so she was always
partly a Westerner at heart, and she ended up raising her family in Washington State. Her family
took road trips all over the United States and Canada, so there were lots of adventures.
The adventures of music, literature, and art were also valued and pursued. Playing tourist always
included the local museums as well as historical sites and places of natural beauty. Discussions
at home, around the dinner table or working in the kitchen, could cover politics, philosophy, or
poetry, with the perspective of the gospel underlying all. Words and ideas, and testimony and
service, were the family currency.
Marian graduated from Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland, and attended the
University of Utah as the recipient of the Ralph Hardy Memorial Scholarship, where she was
graduated with honors, receiving a B.A. in English. She also met the love of her life, a law
student, three weeks after her arrival; she jokes that she had to marry him because her mother
always wanted a tenor in the family. (She sings second soprano.) They were married two years
later and have six children and six grandchildren (so far). She treasures her family, her friends,
and her opportunities to serve.
Visit Marian at her blog, greaterthansparrows. You can contact her at
bloggermarian@gmail.com.
Marian and her husband live in Tacoma, Washington. Together they teach those who are
preparing to go to the temple for the first time, and she also teaches a Stake Relief Society
Institute class.