Sometimes
we wish we could have all the answers to all of our questions.
(Right now.) Maybe just a few of our questions, the ones that stick
in our minds, that we worry at and turn over and over without feeling
any more settled.
Sometimes
we feel so sure that nothing can ever upend our testimony or
our conviction, and then something happens that throws us into
turmoil. Sometimes another person attacks our beliefs with an
objection that we don’t have an answer for, except faith in a
living prophet.
A
brilliant and independent woman named Anne Osborn (later Poelman), a
medical student who became a doctor, professor, and author of medical
textbooks, was surprised to find herself gaining a testimony of the
restored gospel. Some of her friends were appalled; how could she
choose to become part of what they viewed possibly as a cult,
certainly as a step down for a woman of such accomplishment?
She
wrote of what a wise friend told her, after she had weathered some of
those bumps in the road, holding fast to the witness she had acted
upon in being baptized. He drew her attention to the story of Simeon
in Luke, chapter 2, who had been told that he would not die before he
saw the Lord’s Christ. He asked her, when did this message
come to him? The answer is that we don’t know, the scripture
doesn’t say.
All
we really know is that he had it revealed to him that he would see
that day. He was directed to the temple. “Now let thy servant
depart in peace,” he said, when the day came. He held the child
and prophesied. The promise to him was fulfilled, and he knew by the
Spirit of God that this infant was the Son of God, the promised
Messiah. Two things are evident: that he could know, and that
he could see in this newborn child the promise of ages. First, that
the prophecy near at hand was fulfilled, his personal promise, and
then that those promises which arose from it would come to pass as
well. He was filled with faith and light.
Sister
Osborn’s friend told her that there would be questions which
would arise in her life in the Church that might not have ready
answers. She might run into things which she could not understand,
or with which she was inclined to disagree, based on her previous
experience and assumptions. When that happened, he hoped that she
would take Simeon’s example: trust, and wait on the Lord.
I
found it a powerful example. It speaks to a universal
experience—that of certainty and uncertainty.
Was
he a younger man, bid to bide his time and be faithful? Was he
already advanced in years, feeling himself failing, and praying to
know God’s purposes, wondering how the prophecies would come to
pass and how soon?
Did
he watch those who came into the temple every day, and look, finding
the answer to be “not yet’? I imagine that he did. Did
he worry that he might falter at the wrong time and miss the day?
Perhaps sometimes he did, but then renewed his determination to trust
the assurance that had been given to him. He would see the promised
Redeemer of Israel with his own eyes, and know him. He had had a
long lifetime to gain his surety and smooth out his fears.
And
the luminous recitation of this day in the temple where his faith was
answered, and his sight was clear, gives us all a witness of the
Savior’s calling. The Spirit speaks to us as well. Simeon
waited with faith and trust.
There
are issues which arise, prone to some contention. There are things
we haven’t been given the answers to yet. Simeon didn’t
live in an easy time, either. There was turmoil and contention on
the very role of the promised Messiah, political or spiritual; the
political turmoil overshadowed the spiritual comprehension and
recognition of who Jesus was, at least to the supposed authorities
and leaders. It was those who opened their hearts, who in many cases
were persons without station, who knew he was the promised Son of
God. They saw his light and love, and gave their hearts and faith.
That’s what we are asked to do too.
There
are many ways to get deflected or detoured. There is only one way to
walk in the light and Spirit, and that is to be faithful to our
covenants and testimonies. If we put those first, the nonessential
drops away, even though we might not reach that peace immediately.
I
come back to Anne Osborn Poelman now and again; I quote her counsel
when I teach, and echo her example of Simeon. She says, in telling
her story:
Do I
know all the answers to all my questions? Certainly not! But that
really doesn't concern me. I refuse to be distracted by peripheral
issues and the doctrinal sidebars that some would use to weaken our
testimonies of the gospel. To those I apply the Simeon Solution: I
have full trust that if and when the answers come, they will be in
perfect harmony with what I already know. And what I know is, quite
simply, that the gospel is true. There is great peace and serenity in
that very simplicity.*
Peace
and serenity are the fruits of faithful obedience and trust. It
actually is that simple.
(*The
Simeon Solution, Anne Osborn Poelman: One Woman’s Spiritual
Odyssey, Deseret Book, 1994)
Marian J. Stoddard was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in its Maryland suburbs. Her
father grew up in Carson City, Nevada, and her mother in Salt Lake City, so she was always
partly a Westerner at heart, and she ended up raising her family in Washington State. Her family
took road trips all over the United States and Canada, so there were lots of adventures.
The adventures of music, literature, and art were also valued and pursued. Playing tourist always
included the local museums as well as historical sites and places of natural beauty. Discussions
at home, around the dinner table or working in the kitchen, could cover politics, philosophy, or
poetry, with the perspective of the gospel underlying all. Words and ideas, and testimony and
service, were the family currency.
Marian graduated from Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland, and attended the
University of Utah as the recipient of the Ralph Hardy Memorial Scholarship, where she was
graduated with honors, receiving a B.A. in English. She also met the love of her life, a law
student, three weeks after her arrival; she jokes that she had to marry him because her mother
always wanted a tenor in the family. (She sings second soprano.) They were married two years
later and have six children and six grandchildren (so far). She treasures her family, her friends,
and her opportunities to serve.
Visit Marian at her blog, greaterthansparrows. You can contact her at
bloggermarian@gmail.com.
Marian and her husband live in Tacoma, Washington. Together they teach those who are
preparing to go to the temple for the first time, and she also teaches a Stake Relief Society
Institute class.