Lessons from a Sacrament Talk: "The Day I Realized that I Had Been Deceived as a Youth"
by Jeff Lindsay
In
spite of the lack of professional ministers with finely honed public
speaking skills, I frequently find powerful content in the talks
given in sacrament meetings. Sometimes I feel that listening, or
pretending to, is an act of charity, but more often I am the
recipient of charity if I make the effort to listen and learn.
There's
a great Chinese saying for this: If three people walk by, surely at
least one of them will have something to teach me. I think we have
even better odds in sacrament meetings.
One
talk recently given in the U.S. by a woman whom I greatly respect
teaches us some of the dangerous deceptions in our culture. She
discusses what she had learned from the world as a young woman and
how precious the teachings of the Church were to her in helping her
to find greater happiness in life and avoid some of the disasters the
world encourages.
Parents
may not realize how strong and pervasive some of these influences
are, and how important it is to feed our children with truth and
guidance to give them intellectual and spiritual tools to see through
the deceptions of our era.
This excerpt is used with her kind permission:
I
have heard the saying, “I do not know where I would be without
the church,” and for me this is mostly true. I can’t
look at my life in parallel universes, but I do know that I faced
some tough choices that I resolved through having faith in God, and
had I not had that foundation I would have chosen very differently.
I
was taught through popular culture to devalue womanhood and family
living. As a youth I bought into a lot of the hype, and had
determined (like many of my friends) that I wouldn’t marry or
have a family.
I
learned at school and through media that modesty was old-fashioned
and for generations past. I observed that casual relations with
multiple partners was a way to be a feminist, and hook-up culture was
freedom and fun.
These
same sources taught that life was cheap both for the unborn and the
infirm or elderly. Things were all about me, and what I wanted,
what I needed, right when I demanded them. My generation is
frequently called ‘the me, me generation,’ and I think
that is a fair description of what I would be without the Church.
A
lot of you have known me for a long time, and while I have a lot of
faults, some of the ones I mentioned above are not and never were a
part of my behavior. And that is because of the gospel. I
knew there was a God and because of that, I could not violate his
rigid commandments. So I didn’t participate in the
hook-up culture that surrounded me.
I
had been taught at home and church that modesty showed respect for
Heavenly Father and myself, so I refrained from buying clothes that
at the time I thought were more attractive. I learned to
participate in service projects and focus on people other than
myself, and was surprised when it made me feel better than when I was
selfish.
I
chose to date and limited myself to only those whose standards would
allow for a temple marriage. As I aged, I followed promptings
that led to marriage and family.
Sometimes
I made these choices without understanding the long-term
consequences. As a teenager, I felt isolated by some of the
requirements that following the Lord entails. I remember
telling myself that I would be really, really angry if in 10 years I
wished that I hadn’t listened to church teachings.
President
Eyring in his April 2014 conference talk, “A Priceless Heritage
of Hope,” said:
Every
person born into the world receives the Light of Christ, which helps
us see and feel what is right and what is wrong. God has sent mortal
servants who can, by the Holy Ghost, help us recognize what He would
have us do and what He forbids.
God
makes it attractive to choose the right by letting us feel the
effects of our choices. If we choose the right, we will find
happiness — in time. If we choose evil, there comes sorrow and
regret — in time.
Those
effects are sure. Yet they are often delayed for a purpose. If the
blessings were immediate, choosing the right would not build faith.
And since sorrow is also sometimes greatly delayed, it takes faith to
feel the need to seek forgiveness for sin early rather than after we
feel its sorrowful and painful effects.
I
love how he tells us that the blessings and consequences are often
delayed so that we build faith as we choose righteousness over time.
I can testify that this is true in my life.
One
of the most powerful moments in my life was the day I realized that I
had been deceived as a youth. It was the day I gave birth to my
daughter. I didn’t have a testimony of motherhood at that
time, and it would be a few more years in coming, but when I held her
in my arms, I knew that I had been lied to about abortion.
I
expected a parasite or a lump of red mass — not a baby. I
had been told that fetuses do not become babies until months after
they were born. I was shocked to see that she was a person, a
baby, and so perfectly formed with fingers and toes. And that
she already wanted me more than anyone else.
She
had to go back into the hospital when she was three days old over a
high fever, and during her fussy time, I wanted my mom to take her
and make it better, but [my daughter] wanted me because I was the mom
that for her was supposed to make it all better. So I knew she
had emotions and thoughts.
I
reeled for months at the implications of this deception that I had
bought into. I thought of all the girls I knew that so casually
threw away life either through their own experiences or in the way
they advised others.
It
was that moment where truth from Heaven bore powerful testimony that
there were many more things that I didn’t understand and know,
but that the Lord knew and understood. That moment made me so
grateful that I had listened to the commandments in my youth.
The
deception from the abortion industry and its supporters has been
particularly offensive and deadly, in my opinion. Terrible harm is
also done by the many factors that promote casual sex and many other
behaviors contrary to the teachings of Christ.
There
is calculated deception coupled with abundant ignorance and
foolishness, much of which is dressed as wisdom and coolness. Thank
goodness for the moral bearings we are given in the Church. May we
help our youth better understand the wisdom of what they are taught
and help them be able to think past the deceptions and temptations
they will face.
Helping
them learn from great examples who give great sacrament talks is one
step in the right direction. May we have more speakers reaching our
hearts and our minds to help us grow.
Jeff Lindsay has been defending the Church on the Internet since 1994, when he launched his
LDSFAQ website under JeffLindsay.com. He has also long been blogging about LDS matters on
the blog Mormanity (mormanity.blogspot.com). Jeff is a longtime resident of Appleton,
Wisconsin, who recently moved to Shanghai, China, with his wife, Kendra.
He works for an Asian corporation as head of intellectual property. Jeff and Kendra are the parents of 4 boys, 3 married and the the youngest on a mission.
He is a former innovation and IP consultant, a former professor, and former Corporate Patent
Strategist and Senior Research Fellow for a multinational corporation.
Jeff Lindsay, Cheryl Perkins and Mukund Karanjikar are authors of the book Conquering
Innovation Fatigue (John Wiley & Sons, 2009).
Jeff has a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering from Brigham Young University and is a registered US
patent agent. He has more than 100 granted US patents and is author of numerous publications.
Jeff's hobbies include photography, amateur magic, writing, and Mandarin Chinese.