"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
As
much as we sometimes wish otherwise, most things worth having don’t
just happen spontaneously. We have to plan for them and work at them.
We have to do sanity checks and course corrections. It’s that
way with gratitude.
In
his general conference talk “You Know Enough,”
Elder Neil L. Andersen noted that faith is not just a feeling, but a
decision too. It’s the same with gratitude. We can choose to be
grateful. And that choice can change our whole mental landscape,
bringing it more into line with truth — with “things as
they really are” (Jacob 2:3).
The
decision or choice to be grateful finds support in two key habits of
mind: observation and remembrance. Our gratitude increases as we
notice the blessings that constantly come into our lives,
obvious and less obvious. We further increase our capacity for
gratitude as we find a way to remember them.
Try
an experiment right now. Look around you, wherever you may be, and
notice the blessings that are immediately apparent. Are you seeing
the glory of sunlight? The miracle of electricity?
Do
you have running water? Adequate clothing? Technology that makes your
life easier? Air to breathe? Scriptures to read? If you look further
in your mind’s eye, do you see a church nearby? A library? A
school? A temple?
Now
think about less tangible things: the ability to pray; relationships
that bless your life; challenges that provide opportunities for
growth and service; unexpected but constant tender mercies. As we
look around and count our blessings, we realize our lives are
literally flooded with them.
Once
we notice our blessings, how do we keep them alive in our minds, stop
them from fading away? There are probably many strategies; here are
three.
Keep
a journal. Make a point to
record things you’re grateful for in a regular journal, or keep
a journal focused on gratitude, as Henry B. Eyring
and Ann Voskamp
did. The very act of recording things to be grateful for etches them
more clearly in our minds.
Raise
an Ebenezer. When the Lord opened a miraculous path for the
children of Israel across the River Jordan, he instructed them to
gather memorial stones (also called Ebenezers). Why? As a visual
reminder of their miraculous deliverance.
These
stones would inspire not only those who experienced the miracle, but
their descendants as well. (See Raising Your Ebenezer: A Monument to Remember.) What symbol or
visual reminder could you use to call to mind past blessings?
Encourage
others to be grateful. After doing something with friends or
family, ask everyone, “What were some of your favorite things
about today?” This question gets the conversation going in a
positive direction, and all eyes are opened to gratitude as blessings
are recounted and relived.
I
know several people who, when asked how they are, will almost
inevitably sigh and list things they’re unhappy about. If we
have a habit of being negative, it may take repeated effort to stop
the spontaneous donning of cloud-colored glasses. In that case, some
advice from Elder Uchtdorf
may offer the fastest, most effective solution: Stop it! Don’t
even start down the ungrateful path. That makes it much easier to
replace a negative mindset with a grateful one.
Admittedly,
there are times when it’s easy to be grateful and times when
it’s not so easy. But gratitude may actually be a lifesaver in
the hardest of times. Why that’s so will be the subject of our
next column.
Kathryn Grant is a user assistance professional with a passion
for usability and process
improvement. She also loves family history and enjoys the challenge and
reward of building her family tree.
As a child, she lived outside the United States for four years because of her father's job. This experience fueled her natural love of words and language, and also taught her to appreciate other cultures.
Kathryn values gratitude, teaching, learning, differences, and unity. She loves looking at star-filled skies, reading mind-stretching books, listening to contemporary Christian music, attending the temple, and eating fresh raspberries.
Kathryn teaches Sunday family history classes at the BYU Family History Library, and presents frequently at family history events. For more information, visit her Family History Learning Resources page