"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
What is beauty? What
“qualifies” as beautiful? And how can parents, teachers,
leaders, and grandmothers influence growing girls toward a positive
body image?
To combat societal
pressure toward outward beauty and sex appeal and the eating
disorders they trigger, two BYU-affiliated women have joined forces
in Why I Don’t Hide My Freckles Anymore: Perspectives on
True Beauty (Deseret Book 2013, 148 pages in soft cover,
$16.99).
LaNae Valentine,
director of Women’s Services and Resources at BYU, and Lisa
Tensmeyer Hansen, therapist at the BYU Comprehensive Clinic,
originally asked women students to pen their thoughts on the subject
of beauty. The responses spawned a ripple effect, garnering short
essays from LDS women from age 6 to grandmothers and even a couple
from men.
More than 50 of these
essays appear in the book, most with a brief bio of the author, but a
few with “name withheld” in the byline. Those are some of
the most heart-wrenching.
As I read, I was having
a discussion with myself about my own views and how I am influencing
my seven beautiful granddaughters.
Constant media messages
telling us our “natural bodies are deficient” and “our
faces not pretty without makeup” aren’t the only ones to
blame, writes Valentine. She relates that when she was six and got
her first pair of glasses, her mother lamented, “My little girl
isn’t pretty anymore.” That comment and others made as
she was growing up left lasting scars and some major body image
problems to surmount.
Valentine and several
other writers who have learned to appreciate themselves and their
bodies as divine gifts tell of moments that changed their thinking,
although it was often a long process to do it.
Rachel Uda Murdock, a
cancer survivor whose hair was lost to chemotherapy at the same time
steroids were ballooning her body, shares her experience of feeling
God’s unconditional love when she was at her lowest,
emotionally, physically, and spiritually:
“It was an
extraordinary feeling. No longer could I deny that I was unlovable. I
couldn’t even deny that I was beautiful. God made me, and He
made me beautiful. I had been beautiful all along but had never
acknowledged it.”
She says she had been
guilty of the sin of ingratitude. That insight changed the way many
of the writers here treat others, as well as their own self-image.
Kayla Merriman, whose
views of herself were colored by her estranged mother’s letters
and phone calls reminding her that she wasn’t thin enough to be
happy, concludes her essay this way: “As we seek God and come
to know Him, beautiful becomes who we are, not what we are. We
recognize in us what God already sees — Beauty.”
Another nameless writer
discovered while serving a mission that her self-confidence was
rooted in Heavenly Father and his message. She then “began to
understand that I could choose my own happiness. I could choose to
love me: His masterpiece.”
Why I Don’t
Hide My Freckles Anymore would make a good discussion book for
LDS women’s groups, private book clubs, moms, Young Women
leaders, and anyone who needs affirmation about the source of true
beauty.
Laurie
Williams Sowby has been writing since second grade and getting paid
for it since high school. Her byline ("all three names, please")
has appeared on more than 6,000 freelance articles published in
newspapers, magazines, and online.
A
graduate of BYU and a writing instructor at Utah Valley University
for many years, she proudly claims all five children and their
spouses as college grads.
She
and husband, Steve, have served three full-time missions together,
beginning in 2005 in Chile, followed by Washington D.C. South, then
Washington D.C. North, both times as young adult Institute teachers.
They are currently serving in the New York Office of Public and
International Affairs
During
her years of missionary service, Laurie has continued to write about
significant Church events, including the rededication of the Santiago
Temple by President Hinckley and the groundbreaking for the
Philadelphia Temple by President Eyring. She also was a Church
Service Missionary, working as a news editor at Church Magazines,
between full-time missions.
Laurie
has traveled to all 50 states and at least 45 countries (so far).
While home is American Fork, Utah, Lincoln Center and the
Metropolitan Museum of Art have provided a comfortable second home.
Laurie
is currently serving a fourth full-time mission with her husband in
the New York Office of Public and International Affairs. The two
previously served with a branch presidency at the Provo Missionary
Training Center. The oldest of 18 grandchildren have been called to
serve missions in New Hampshire and Brisbane, Australia.