I'd
like to share a few tips for parents with children on missions,
especially regarding the final and sometimes difficult details of
actually getting them safely home.
We've
sent four boys on LDS missions, and as I write, our youngest is with
us in Shanghai, having survived the 40 hours of travel it took to get
him from Piura, Peru, to China. As with each of our other sons, I am
impressed and delighted with what missionary service has done for him
in terms of adding maturity, skills, and increased abilities to serve
and succeed.
It's
a delight to hang out now, though not seeing him for two years (apart
from Skype calls with a webcam on Mother's Day and Christmas) has
been difficult. Sending him on his mission was difficult, too —
so much paperwork, medical tests, clothing to buy, and then the
emotions of sending a young man away for two years. But bringing
him home is the difficulty that stands out in my mind the most.
That's where I have a couple of simple tips, too.
First,
let me say I am extremely grateful to the Piura, Peru Mission and its
kind leader, President Chad Rowley, and all those who make the
mission possible, including a remarkably busy and helpful woman in
Lima, Sister Campian, who fights untold battles to keep missionaries
legally in the country, to manage their return travel, and to handle
scores of details and bureaucratic burdens in a challenging place.
It
took a huge extra-mile effort from her and others to help my son
navigate the complex and shifting requirements for getting a visa to
China to see his parents. He came very close to not being able
to come here but finally had his visa issued at the last minute.
Whew.
I
also want to thank Elder Andrew Rainsdon of my son's mission for his
kindness. My son was able to return home with a little more than $40
in his pocket, largely due to the $40 Elder Rainsdon gave him as an
unsolicited and surprising act of kindness when my son just mentioned
that his bankcard had expired and that I was having difficulty with
Western Union.
My
son's bankcard expired before the end of his mission and my several
attempts to use Western Union to get money to him all failed, in part
because after two failed attempts, my third attempt, aimed at
Atlanta, Georgia where he would be passing through, triggered a
Western Union fraud alert, I guess, that blocked any attempt at money
transfer by my or by my wife using two different cards, with no
chance for appeal or repair, and no chance to move the money I had
already spent in vain for Peru to Atlanta.
Bringing
each of our four boys home was difficult, partly because the details
of their travel and travel dates are often not available as early as
parents would like them. Mission departure dates often are affected
by the schedules of incoming missionaries from the Provo MTC or
regional missionary training centers, and may be affected by other
events as well. Trying to schedule and organize companionships as
missionaries come and go is complex.
Here
are a few tips for parents.
Before
the mission:
Tip
#1: Have a power of attorney. The missionary should sign a
witnessed power of attorney form giving the parents or another
appropriate person the legal power to handle things back home such as
housing arrangements after the mission, school details, bank account
matters, and so on.
Tip
#2: Understand when bank cards will expire and know what will be
needed to get new cards. This can be difficult in foreign countries.
Some missionaries, such as my son, find their bank card has expired
shortly before they return home, making it impossible for them to
take money out of their bank. In some areas, it is difficult for
foreign banks to get new cards mailed to the missionary. If a card is
expiring, make sure the missionary takes out enough money for the
trip home. Would have been nice in our case!
Tip
#3: Make copies of your passport and your birth certificate and
leave these with your family or whoever will be making arrangements
for you.
During
the mission:
Tip
#4: Communicate clearly and early with your missionary about
travel needs and hopes. Make sure you and your missionary understand
the significance of deadlines and dates that may be important in
scheduling the trip home. Make sure the missionary understands your
hopes and expectations for time together before they travel off to
school or some other place.
Tip
#5: If your missionary cannot provide useful information, and if
you have not received advance information about return dates, go
ahead and contact the mission home to inquire.
Tip
#6: Be patient and flexible in working with the mission home, but
do expect answers and guidance in advance.
Tip
#7: If you live in somewhere requiring a visa in addition to your
child's passport and want your missionary to go there after the
mission, contact the mission home early and explain the process. For
China, it involves turning a passport in to a Chinese consulate (the
only one in Peru was outside my son's mission — challenging!)
and then managing a myriad of details. Be available to rapidly
provide information that is needed (this included a letter of
invitation, our bank account information [carefully done to avoid
fraud risks], and more details).
Tip
#8: Understand options for getting money to your missionary when
things go wrong. My experience with Western Union was a
disappointment. If you must use Western Union, understand that
the information they provide you on how to pick up money may be
incorrect. In our case, we learned that a photo ID alone was
insufficient. Had they told us that Peru would require our son to
have his passport, we could have made other arrangements, but his
visa at the time was in the hands of the Chinese embassy in Lima.
Sigh.
Tip
#9: Make sure you missionary has an international calling
card for the flight home with some cash for the trip.
Tip
#10: Be grateful for each bit of help and each small miracle
along the way, and be grateful for the privilege of having a
missionary son or daughter. Don't let the big blessings be ruined by
small inconveniences and hassles.
These
missions have been remarkable blessings for my family, but it’s
great to have them completed and see missionaries move to the next
stage of their lives.
Jeff Lindsay has been defending the Church on the Internet since 1994, when he launched his
LDSFAQ website under JeffLindsay.com. He has also long been blogging about LDS matters on
the blog Mormanity (mormanity.blogspot.com). Jeff is a longtime resident of Appleton,
Wisconsin, who recently moved to Shanghai, China, with his wife, Kendra.
He works for an Asian corporation as head of intellectual property. Jeff and Kendra are the parents of 4 boys, 3 married and the the youngest on a mission.
He is a former innovation and IP consultant, a former professor, and former Corporate Patent
Strategist and Senior Research Fellow for a multinational corporation.
Jeff Lindsay, Cheryl Perkins and Mukund Karanjikar are authors of the book Conquering
Innovation Fatigue (John Wiley & Sons, 2009).
Jeff has a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering from Brigham Young University and is a registered US
patent agent. He has more than 100 granted US patents and is author of numerous publications.
Jeff's hobbies include photography, amateur magic, writing, and Mandarin Chinese.