The Reality of Mental Illness: Are We Ministering Properly?
by Jeff Lindsay
There’s
a serious issue that I’d like to raise, especially for you who
are or who will be leaders in the Church. The issue is mental
illness.
Very
few of us have had any training in recognizing and dealing with
mental illness, but there is a great need. I would especially urge
bishoprics, Relief Society presidents, and other leaders to learn
about mental illness and look for its symptoms.
Stake
leaders, it may be helpful to provide more training about mental
health issues from competent sources for your leaders so they can
better deal with the many forms of mental illness that afflict some
of our members.
I
think my biggest surprises when I was a bishop came from experiences
with those who suffered from various forms of mental illness. Some
had kept their suffering hidden for years without ever getting help,
but their unmet needs had been enormous.
The
most serious problems involved those who had been abused as children.
I could spend hours writing about what a hell sexual abuse creates
for its victims, and how it can inflict such terrible and lasting
harm on the human mind.
For
example, I am absolutely convinced of the reality of multiple
personality disorder, which sometimes may arise (as far as I can
tell) as a way for the mind to protect itself in the most extreme of
times. Dealing with it in depth as a frightened and inexperienced
bishop was one of my most painful and rewarding experiences, a
journey that showed me in profound ways just how loving and real and
merciful our Savior is, and how great His love is for those who have
suffered the most.
Strange
but touching miracles were experienced in this process.
Brothers
and sisters, it is possible that virtually every ward and branch has
at least one victim of sexual abuse in dire need of your help. It is
possible that every unit has or will have someone on the verge of
suicide, in need of your help — perhaps even today.
If
the Lord puts you in a place where that person can reach out to you,
it is vital that you listen. If someone tells you something that
smacks of mental illness, that seems crazy, it may be vitally
important for you to listen and to take them seriously. Hints about
suicide are in that category. Only if you listen and take them
seriously will you be able to learn what they might really need and
then help them get the help they need.
Leaders,
know that for victims of abuse, authority figures can be terrifying.
Do not be offended if a member seems afraid of you or very easily
becomes angry or upset at you. Relax, and accept that there may be a
real problem.
Do
not try to use logic and persuasion to get them to “act normal”
— give them space and acceptance, and perhaps in time they may
trust you enough to share what they are going through. Do not corner
them or do anything to make them feel trapped (that’s a good
reason for being behind a desk in interviews, away from the door).
I
think one of my biggest mistakes in the Church came from not
recognizing signs of mental illness in a member and trying too hard
to get them to see things “normally.” I only made things
worse and created more distance and more pain.
And
some of my most important events — or rather, some of the
Lord’s biggest miracles that I did not directly mess up —
came when I accepted others’ “dysfunctional”
behavior as a genuine problem that was not their fault. That opened
the door for a series of incredible experiences that made the
Atonement more real and powerful than it had ever been before to me.
Whether
it is caused by abuse, by physiology or other factors, mental illness
is just as real and as debilitating as cancer or a broken leg or
blindness, and needs to be approached with the same love and
compassion as you would treat victims of physical injuries or
disease. It may be invisible, like hypertension, but may be even more
harmful.
We
must not judge victims of mental illness or look down on them any
more than we would someone who has been hit by a car or who has
suffered a stroke. It may be impossible for us to grasp the pain and
the barriers that others suffer, but with the help of the Spirit and
the charity that comes from Christ, I believe Church leaders can be
guided to properly minister to the mentally ill, though in many cases
it is critical that we help them get professional help and not think
that we can do it all or that the Church has everything they need.
Leaders,
please don’t go into denial when there is some hint that
someone in your stewardship may be a past or current victim of abuse.
When you see people living in high risk situations (e.g., an adult
male from outside the family living with a family with young girls),
don’t turn a blind eye. Seek the Spirit, consult with
appropriate experts as needed, and do what is right.
High
risk situations often lead to tragedy, and sometimes you can help
prevent it, or at least help the healing process.
I
am so grateful to a few key members in previous wards who helped me
understand the terrible problems that victims of child abuse can
suffer throughout their lives. I marvel at the courage and faith of
those who have done all they can to move ahead with their lives after
going through hell, and hope that their healing can continue.
I
am so grateful for the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and
His infinite love, and His ability to wipe away all tears.
On
a final note, there are those who charge that the pressures of being
a Mormon create depression and other forms of mental illness in
people. Certainly we need to recognize when someone is under too much
pressure or has burdens too great and do all we can to help and
lighten those burdens, rather than expecting more.
But
I wholeheartedly believe that active participation in the Church and
living the Gospel generally promotes good mental health, though some
will say I’m crazy for thinking that way. For some background
information and a couple of interesting studies, please see the
section on mental health and suicide on my Mormon
Answers Page of Facetious Questions,
a page that actually contains some pretty serious information.
I
would appreciate your suggestions on what we as members of the Church
can do better to help those who suffer from various forms of mental
illness. I know that some of you know a lot about this topic, and I
would really like to know more and get your insights.
And
if I’ve given any poor advice or said anything wildly incorrect
or spoken insensitively, please help me out with your comments. This
is an area where most of us still have a lot to learn. Please contact
me at jeff at jefflindsay dot com.
Resources
for Better Ministering and Coping with Challenges in Life
Jeff Lindsay has been defending the Church on the Internet since 1994, when he launched his
LDSFAQ website under JeffLindsay.com. He has also long been blogging about LDS matters on
the blog Mormanity (mormanity.blogspot.com). Jeff is a longtime resident of Appleton,
Wisconsin, who recently moved to Shanghai, China, with his wife, Kendra.
He works for an Asian corporation as head of intellectual property. Jeff and Kendra are the parents of 4 boys, 3 married and the the youngest on a mission.
He is a former innovation and IP consultant, a former professor, and former Corporate Patent
Strategist and Senior Research Fellow for a multinational corporation.
Jeff Lindsay, Cheryl Perkins and Mukund Karanjikar are authors of the book Conquering
Innovation Fatigue (John Wiley & Sons, 2009).
Jeff has a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering from Brigham Young University and is a registered US
patent agent. He has more than 100 granted US patents and is author of numerous publications.
Jeff's hobbies include photography, amateur magic, writing, and Mandarin Chinese.