Fluffy
and I went out of town last week. We didn’t go far. In fact,
we only stayed about a half hour away from home, and we were only
gone for two nights. But to see us packing, you would have thought
we were going to end up in Timbuktu for the summer season.
In
fact, as Fluffy packed the car, I heard him mutter a word that I am
not accustomed to hearing from my Utah-bred boy. Yes, I heard words
like that often in my natal city of New Orleans. New Orleans
residents often spoke in words of four letters when I was growing up,
and Fluffy's language as he packed the car made me nostalgic for
home.
The
bad word was not Fluffy's fault. The poor little thing was
trying to cram more into a car than was designed to fit into a
vehicle. A scooter, a wheelchair, a walker, a parade of medical
devices and an assortment of luggage are not designed to fit in a
Mercury Sable. Fluffy was trying to do the impossible, and his
language slip could not be helped.
It
was not the ideal way to start a vacation.
When
Fluffy and I first got married, we often took spur-of-the-moment
trips out of town. On those occasions, we didn't pack much. We
usually took a change of underwear for each day we would be gone,
along with a sack to contain the used underwear. I took my contact
lens case and my contact lens solution. I also took a backup pair of
glasses.
I
usually took a nightgown, and we each took one extra shirt other than
the one we were wearing, just in case we spilled something on the one
we had on.
That
was it. Packing took five minutes flat, and we could get everything
in a duffel bag or even a paper sack. If we thought about it, we'd
each throw a paperback book in the paper sack on the way out the
door. We'd rely on the Gideon Bible in the motel room to provide our
scriptures (or the Book of Mormon if we were staying in a Marriott
property). We didn't need anything else.
When
we went out of town last week, this is what we had to deal with:
My wheelchair;
My walker;
My scooter;
My scooter batteries;
My scooter battery charger;
The little basket that goes on the front of my scooter to carry purchases I may make in pharmacies along the way;
My morning medications;
My afternoon medications;
My evening medications;
My bedtime medications;
Fluffy's bedtime medications;
My contact lens paraphernalia;
My reading glasses;
My long-distance glasses;
Fluffy's reading glasses;
Tums, just in case I had indigestion;
Prilosec, just in case Fluffy had heartburn;
My pain medication, just in case Something Really Bad Happened;
My C-PAP machine (which I probably don’t need anymore, but which I haven’t had a doctor tell me I don’t need anymore, so I have to keep using);
An extension cord in case we needed one for the C-PAP machine;
Wet wipes;
My compression stockings;
The nylon sleeve that Fluffy uses to put the compression stockings on my legs;
The Crocs I need to put on in the middle of the night if I need to use the restroom and have to put on shoes so my unfeeling feet don’t slip on the floors.
All
this is in addition to our Kindles and the charger for them, and our
cameras and the battery chargers for them, and our clothing, and our
food, and all the other little things that make a time-share unit a
home.
Fluffy
spent a good two to three hours assembling this stuff, and then
another half-hour cramming it in the car, all in preparation for our
half-hour drive to National Harbor.
By
the time he got in the car, he was not in his usual cheery frame of
mind. And then, less than forty minutes later, he had to unpack all
that and put it in our timeshare unit. I could not do a thing to
help him, being immobile as I am.
It’s
times like this when Fluffy earns his designation as Perpetual
Employee of the Month.
Fluffy, trying hard to maintain some semblance of patience as we
waited for the air-conditioning system in our timeshare unit to be
repaired so we could check in with all our medical paraphernalia.
I
guess it’s probably overkill to admit that it took at least an
hour after we finally arrived at our destination before he was his
normal sunny self.
Fluffy unwound with a few games of spider solitaire after unpacking a
ton and a half of old person’s paraphernalia.
When
we were young, we used to get so annoyed with Fluffy’s parents,
who used to sit in their condo and let moss grow on them. We could
not understand why they did absolutely nothing with their lives when
they were not tied down by a job, and when they had all the money
they needed to go out and see the world.
Now
we know. They didn’t have the energy to see the world and
to pack. They may
have had the energy to do one or the other. They did not have the
energy to do both.
Indeed,
Fluffy and I have long remained partially packed for long trips. We
have “trip kits” that contain all our regular toiletries,
but “regular toiletries” are things such as toothpaste
and toothbrushes and shampoo — things that are not included on
the list I just named.
Now
that we’re old, it looks as though we’re going to need an
additional “elderly trip kit” containing all the things
on that bulleted list.
It’s
one thing to have an upstairs wheelchair, a main floor wheelchair, a
wheelchair that stays in the car to be used for field trips, and a
wheelchair that exists solely to transport me from the house to the
car and back again when I’m wearing long dresses that are not
safe for the walker. We have recently crossed that threshold and
have become a four-wheelchair family.
But
to have everything else in duplicate and all packed together to
comprise our “elderly trip kit” would give us a bundle
that would have to be lifted by a crane and carried in a flatbed
truck. Somehow that takes the spontaneity out of travel.
We
eventually were glad we did all that packing. We eventually used
almost everything that Fluffy packed for us, with the exception of
the Tums and the Prilosec and my pain medication — things we
were happy we didn’t need but were nevertheless glad that
Fluffy packed. If we hadn’t packed them, there would have been
a desperate emergency. We know that from experience.
We
know that as time passes, Fluffy and I are only going to get older.
The packing list is only going to get longer. I have no idea what
items will be added to it. I used to have to carry an oxygen
concentrator with me — a huge machine that took most of the
backseat of our car. I don’t have to use it anymore, thank
goodness. But as we get older, who knows?
I
think often of Ecclesiastes 12. I suspect it’s a chapter that
is mostly unknown to young people these days. Do people who are
under forty know that the quivering “keepers of the house”
are shaking arms, the “strong men” are flailing legs, the
“grinders” are missing teeth, and the darkened windows,
of course, are eyes that no longer see?
These
days, Fluffy and I are two of those decaying houses. Our friends are
deteriorating neighborhoods. We are whole subdivisions that are
falling apart, and all the Ben-Gay in the world is only going to
prolong the inevitable.
But
when we go to that “long home” that Ecclesiastes 12
mentions, it will not be the unhappy occasion that Solomon
envisioned. There may be mourning here, but there will be no packing
lists and no pulled muscles as someone tries to put more
paraphernalia in an ancient Mercury Sable than it was ever designed
to hold.
On
the contrary, we will step across to our new home unencumbered from
the pains and ailments of this old world. We will be free of the
sorrows that pull on us here. We will be so light —
enlightened
— that we may well feel as though we are flying, because the
things that held us back are holding us back no longer.
As
much as I love this world, and as much as I do not want to leave it,
I’m still excited to step over to the other side when my
appointed time comes. I am not afraid of death. And the best part
is, I won’t need to pack anything except for a life well lived.
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.