When we were between
church meetings on Sunday, Fluffy realized that he hadn’t seen
one of the ladies in our congregation for a week or two. She is
conspicuous because she parks in the handicapped spot next to us, and
she hadn’t been there for quite some time. He wondered where
she was.
In the process of
wondering about her, he looked up the lady’s address and saw
that she lived in a townhouse complex only a few blocks away from the
church. Then his meeting started, so he put his tablet on his knee
and looked up to watch what was happening.
Suddenly a disembodied
computerized voice said, “Proceed 400 feet straight ahead.
Then turn right.” The noise boomed out in
the quiet chapel. Fluffy slammed the tablet shut and put it in his
suit coat pocket, no doubt hoping that the men in his high priests
group did not know that his tablet was the source of the sound.
Doubtless his innocent look fooled no one.
The tablet was quiet
for the rest of the lesson. It was only after he got me securely
tucked into the car after church that the tablet helpfully chirped,
“Proceed 400 feet straight ahead. Then turn right.”
I almost jumped through
the roof. I had not realized there was anyone besides Fluffy and me
in the car. It was a real shocker to learn otherwise.
As coincidence would
have it, the voice instructed us to head in the direction we were
going anyway. So we did as the voice instructed and proceeded 400
feet straight ahead. Then we turned right. Once we left the parking
lot, the voice continued to instruct us. “Continue for a
quarter of a mile. Then turn right.”
Once again, the voice’s
instructions dovetailed our own route. We reached the street where
the townhouse complex was located where the lady in our ward lived.
Then we turned right.
Our helpful voice had
new instructions for us. They were instructions that would have
taken us to the doorstep of the woman in our ward, but they would not
have taken us to our house. “Turn left at the next
intersection,” the voice said.
We reached the next
stop sign, and then continued to go straight.
This did not upset the
GPS unit in the slightest. The disembodied voice said, “Go 600
feet straight, and then turn left.”
Actually, we had been
planning to do that anyway, so that is what we did. As soon as we
turned left, the disembodied voice said, “Proceed to the next
stop sign and then turn left.” We proceeded to the next stop
sign and immediately turned right.
The disembodied voice
did not get angry. She (for she definitely was a “she”)
did not exhibit any signs of stress in her voice whatsoever. There
was no impatience. She was not rolling her eyes, if she had eyes to
roll. She simply said, “Turn left at the next intersection.”
This was a good thing. Turning left at the next intersection was
exactly what we were planning to do.
If the disembodied
voice showed any excitement that we obeyed her this time, she did not
betray that excitement. She simply said, “Proceed straight for
100 feet, and then turn left.” We did obey the first half of
the instructions, but that was where we parted ways. We turned
right, and off we went toward home.
No matter how much
farther we got from the home of the woman in our ward, the GPS unit
was never deterred. “Turn left at the next intersection,”
were always the instructions that were given. There was always the
same degree of patience. There was never annoyance. There was never
any sense of judgment.
If we had gone to San
Francisco, the GPS system would have continued trying to get us back
to that townhouse without ever losing her patience even once.
“Of course,”
I hear you saying. “It’s a stupid GPS system!
What do you think it is — your mother-in-law?”
Nevertheless, no matter
how far afield we went, the GPS just quietly recalculated what it
would take for us to get back “home.” That was all the
GPS cared about — getting us back home.
Finally Fluffy said,
“Isn’t this a little bit the way God is? He never judges
us. He doesn’t sit up there rolling His eyes and getting
annoyed. Whenever we make stupid mistakes and go astray, He just
figures out what it will take to get us back to Him. He’ll put
things in our way — lifesavers, so to speak, that we can grab
onto, if we want to.
“If we don’t
grab onto those lifesavers — if we go in another
direction — he recalculates our course and puts other people
there who can help us if we choose to take the help. And if we don’t
take that help, he’ll recalculate and start all over.
There’s never judgment. There’s never a rolled eye. He
just loves us and wants us to get back to Him.”
That made sense to me.
Our God may not be a God of infinite patience (the people in Noah’s
time discovered that first-hand), but He certainly has a long rope.
He certainly has put up with a lot from me in my sixty-five years. I
have been a royal pain in the neck!
Next time your GPS
comes on, telling you to turn right when you want to turn left, think
of that other non-judgmental Voice, telling you to come home.
Sometimes it may be more fun to go astray, but the way home will
always be more fulfilling in the end.
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.