Here’s
Kathy’s little gem of wisdom for this week: There aren't many
perks about sitting around in a wheelchair, but one of them is that
you get to entertain guests in a nightgown and nobody blinks an
eye.
I
never even thought about this little privilege until I was
wheelchair-bound myself. Suddenly it didn't make sense to get
all gussied up if I wasn't leaving the house, so I didn't.
I
am not the first female who has lounged around in her nightie in a
wheelchair. I am not personally acquainted with a whole lot of
wheelchair demons, but when I was growing up there were people in
wheelchairs in movies. They were black-and-white movies, so the
ladies wore black-and-white nighties.
Nevertheless,
the nightgowns were quite attractive, and they served to make the
people in the wheelchairs look ever-so-frail.
I
have never for a minute felt frail, nor have I had any intention of
conveying that impression. But nightgowns are comfortable,
darn it. They are my favorite articles of clothing. I
always looked for any excuse to wear nightgowns full-time. I
would rather not be in a wheelchair, but if I am going to be in a
wheelchair, mind you, I might as well take advantage of the situation
and be comfortable.
But
there is particular nightgown etiquette at play here. I am
certain it is in the wheelchair etiquette rulebook, and even though
nobody has ever given me a copy of the rulebook, I have memorized it
by osmosis. One of the rules for women must say that if you
wear nightgowns to entertain in your home, they cannot be the same
nightgowns you sleep in.
Sure
enough, my downstairs nightgowns are solely for entertaining or for
working in my office. There is a whole different inventory of
upstairs nightgowns for sleeping.
They
have not made one another's acquaintance.
You
probably think I have a dozen or so nightgowns in assorted colors.
This would be an understatement. I have a slight
tendency towards overkill ("Overkill, thy name is Kathy"),
and overkill has hit the nightgown department with a vengeance.
I
have one nightgown in eight different colors. I have another in
four. There are other patterns and assortments, but you get the
picture. I even have a few duplicates of the same nightgown. When
you have that many, it’s difficult to keep track.
Although
I am not a short person, now that I have lost a considerable amount
of weight, most of the downstairs nightgowns are taller than I am —
way taller than I am. Most of them should be shortened
by more than a foot. Would that I knew how to do it!
I
had a grand total of three nightgowns (the same nightgown in three
colors) that I cherished because, unlike all the others, they were
nice and short. They went only down to my knees, so they did
not cause me to trip when I tried to stand. They did not get
caught in my feet when I tried to navigate the stairs. Oh boy,
is it scary to go down the stairs on paralyzed feet when your
nightgown gets caught in your shoes!
As
much as I liked those three nightgowns, the just did not appear in
the nightgown rotation often enough. I wanted a dozen more of
them, but even one would have been a boon and a blessing.
So
it was cause for great excitement last week when Fluffy found an
unopened gray plastic mailer, opened it, and found a new nightgown,
just like the other three — nice and short, and in the same
flowered fabric as the other three short nightgowns, but in a
different color.
He
looked at the receipt in the bag. I had purchased the nightgown
in November of 2013 and then never opened the bag when it arrived.
For a year and four months, it has been sitting in a corner
somewhere, unopened and unloved.
This
is something I have a tendency to do. I’ll order something and
then won’t have time to open it when it arrives. Or I’ll
feel guilty for spending the money. Or I’ll be afraid it won’t
fit and think I’ll try it on later, but later never comes. The
mailer sits in a corner for weeks or months, gathering dust.
Sometimes it sits in a corner for longer than that.
How
many of the blessings in my life, and in your life, are recognized
and unclaimed — as useless to us as a nightgown sealed in a
gray plastic mailer?
It’s
like that old story Acres of Diamonds about the man who sold
his farm and wasted his life in the pursuit of diamonds, only to
learn that there were millions of diamonds buried under the farm he
sold. I suspect we have many such diamonds waiting to be found in
our own lives, if we just take the time to look for them.
Perhaps
the reason we are commanded to not covet is because coveting the
blessings of others distracts us from the even greater blessings that
remain overlooked or unappreciated in our own lives.
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.