I
had a bad week at church on Sunday. I didn’t intend to; things
just worked out that way.
We
were about five minutes late for church, but I didn’t realize
it and assumed we were there early as usual. But when we got to
church and there were only two or three cars in the parking lot, I
thought there was nothing to fear. Little did I realize how wrong I
was.
For
the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to navigate the church
corridors with a walker rather than the wheelchair. Fluffy follows
me with the wheelchair in case I fall over on the way to my
destination, which I haven’t done yet. The wheelchair comes in
handy as a comfortable place to sit once I get where I’m going,
which is a nice touch. (A rant about the misery of church chairs
will be saved for another day.)
Anyway,
once we got inside the meetinghouse, I realized there were far more
people inside than the number of cars in the parking lot indicated.
Apparently the two or three cars in the parking lot were those little
clown cars that had disgorged thousands upon thousands of people, all
of them little children.
All
of them were running in the overflow area of the chapel, with nary a
parent in sight. They were doing the little children’s
equivalent of visiting, which meant they were running and screaming
and waving their arms and burning energy, subconsciously doing
exactly what their bodies needed to do if they had any hope of
sitting still for the next endless hour in sacrament meeting.
When
the children saw me, they didn’t see Kathy, queen of the
universe, making a valiant attempt to stagger across the vast expanse
of the meetinghouse terrain before finally, blessedly, taking a seat
and being able to rest again. No, what they saw was a human bowling
pin, even better than the bowling pins in the bowling alleys because
I was a moving bowling pin that provided a little bit of an extra
challenge than the ones that are stationary.
In
truth, it only seemed as though they were homing in on me like
Luftwaffe military aircraft. They probably looked upon me as only
another of many mildly amusing moving obstacles — no less
interesting than the others, surely, but no more so either. So,
Luftwaffe-like, they zoomed around me, arms spread like airplane
wings, as I fought to keep my balance on the way to my destination.
In
any case what was usually a torturous trip but a straight shot turned
into an obstacle course that was complicated even further by a
ten-year-old girl who inexplicably kept tugging on my clothes as I
walked, threatening to pull me off-balance because I was wearing a
fuzzy fabric and she liked the feel of it. And then there were the
beloved friends who hadn’t seen me walk post-coma and who just
had to give me and my walker a hug while I was in
transit.
As
if all this were not enough, there were about ten ward members who
decided to have an informal pre-sacrament meeting right on the row
where I usually sit. It’s not that I have a particular
affinity to that pew, but we sit there because it is shorter and
designed for wheelchairs. Fortunately, the meeting broke up just as
I arrived, and I did not have to trample anyone or hit them with my
cane (which would have been awkward, because I do not own a cane).
By
the time I reached my seat in the chapel, I was a twitching wreck.
Never mind that I had to move from place to place between meetings
and then walk back to the car after all the meetings were over; I was
a twitching wreck even before all that. To say I didn’t get
much out of the meetings was an understatement.
And
the cheerful comments about my improved mobility didn’t have
the happy effects that my friends hoped they would. I just wanted to
go home and pull a blanket over my head. Period. I had had enough
of church and people and everything else for one day, thank you very
much.
As
Fluffy and I talked about the experience later, we realized we had
caused the problem ourselves by being late. We then exacerbated the
issue by trying to leave as soon as church was over rather than
waiting for everyone to be gone as we usually do. Alas, the Primary
children were much faster, we were fighting hall traffic every step
of the way, and the hall traffic had every bit as much business being
there as we did.
It’s
unfair to the children in the ward to be angry with them for acting
like children. It’s unfair to huggers to expect them to
refrain from hugging people — even people who are uncertainly
trying to walk from one place to another, and who just need to find a
place to sit down and rest.
I
don’t have an explanation for the ten-year-old pulling on my
clothes, but I guess I should expect behavior like that too. A ward
is a family, and families are composed of all kinds of people.
People do crazy things and we have to be ready for whatever happens —
even when we’re staggering from one place to another and being
followed by a wheelchair.
Life
is like the halls of our church meetinghouse. There are obstacles
every step of the way. We can pause to admire them, we can step
around them, or we find a way to climb over them. The one thing we
cannot do, however, is to let those obstacles stop us from reaching
our ultimate destination, which is eternal life with our Heavenly
Father.
On
Sunday I wanted to sit in the hall and cry because the obstacles in
my way seemed too great to overcome. But with a little rest and a
little spiritual nourishment, I was able to tackle the world again.
We
don’t have to meet the world’s challenges all at once,
and we don’t have to do them all alone. If things seem
impossible right now, find a friend to help you through the hard
times. If we help one another, we can navigate this obstacle-filled
world together.
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.