Thanks
to the coma I received as a holiday present last year, this year
hasn’t been much of a travel year for us. But we finally
decided I was up for traveling, so we booked a few days in a
timeshare at National
Harbor
last week, and off we went for a few days of fun and frolic.
This
was an experiment of sorts, so we could see if I could handle hotel
rooms with their higher beds and unfamiliar bathrooms. We took my
scooter and wheelchair and my walker, so we had all bases covered
(except for not having much room in the car for other luggage). For
the most part, the week was a rousing success.
When
we watch television at home, we are somewhat discerning, and rarely
channel surf or watch anything that our trusty TiVo has not recorded
for us. But when we’re traveling, all bets are off and we’ll
watch just about anything that moves.
One
of Fluffy’s guilty pleasures when traveling is to watch court
shows on television, something he never does at home. There are a
whole slew of them, some of them worse than others. I have a lower
tolerance for them than he does, but I can usually stand to listen to
two or three of them per day if I am doing something with my hands
while listening to the television as background noise.
As
Fluffy was channel-surfing near the end of the week, he stumbled upon
one show we hadn’t seen before. There is a bona-fide
television show called “Paternity
Court.”
Yes, you read that correctly, friends and neighbors. These days
there are enough women who don’t know the identity of their
children’s fathers to justify having a whole television show to
uncover the sordid truth.
We
were only in the hotel room long enough to watch one case on
“Paternity Court,”
but it was a doozy. The plaintiff was a woman whose brother had
recently died. After his death, three women came forth and said they
thought — but weren’t
sure — that the dead brother
had fathered their little girls.
The
girls were all about a year old. Dead Brother had obviously been
having a lot of fun in the last few months of his life — in
fact, he probably died from exhaustion. And as it turned out, he
really had
been having fun, because all three of the little girls belonged to
him. Apparently Dead Brother was such a stud that just looking at a
woman would put her in the family way.
That
wasn’t the end of the story, either. The grieving plaintiff
told the judge that after she filed the case in “Paternity
Court,” four
more women had come forth and said
they thought
their own children had been fathered by Dead Brother as well. “I
don’t know when this is going to end,” she said
tearfully.
The
plaintiff had every reason to be distraught. There could be dozens
more children in the bushes, and they could be popping up for
decades. Thank goodness the aunt won’t be responsible for
child support payments! Family reunions, however, keep getting
bigger and bigger.
Fluffy
and I did quite a bit of head-shaking over “Paternity
Court”as
we ate our lunch that day. We weren’t as distressed about the
men who go around chasing every woman in a skirt. Men have been
doing that for — well, as long as there have been men. There
seems to be something in their genes that makes them want to do that.
Women
on the other hand, have been traditionally more circumspect. A
generation ago, or even a decade ago, there wouldn’t have been
enough women who a) didn’t know who had fathered their children
or b) were willing to admit they didn’t know who had fathered
their children to justify a show like “Paternity
Court.” Today, though, there are
apparently enough women who have neither morals nor shame, that
“Paternity Court”
is on not just one day per week, but five.
I
grew up in a simpler time when traditional families were —
well, traditional. Having children was something you did after you
were married, and even couples who were not all that happy tended to
stay together for the sake of the children. We all knew a few
families that were run by single parents, but those families were the
exception and not the rule.
Television
shows like “Father Knows Best” were popular, because that
was the reality of life for most Americans. Our lives may not have
been as carefree as the families we saw on television, but we tried
our best.
Now
I wonder about the children I see on shows like “Paternity
Court.” What kind of values will those children have when they
grow up and start having children of their own? These days it is not
politically correct to make value judgments about the decisions of
others. If a woman chooses to never marry and to have ten different
children with ten different fathers, that is her choice. It is not
our place to judge her, or to criticize her lifestyle choices.
But
I worry about the lives of the children. The studies of children
being raised in such situations show that they are much more likely
to fall prey to a variety of misfortunes, especially poverty and
crime. With all those willing to stand up for the choices of the
parents, why is no one allowed to defend the rights of the children
produced by these bad choices?
It
says in the Bible that the sins of the parents are visited upon the
heads of the children for three or four generations. I used to think
it was unfair that God would punish children for their parents’
misdeeds. But then I realized that God has nothing to do with it. A
natural consequence of children being raised in dysfunctional
families is that that they will grow up to repeat the same
dysfunctional behavior in their own families.
I
guess I’m officially just old-fashioned, but I miss the days
when you never heard the question, “Who’s your baby
daddy?”
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.