Whenever a new Mexican
restaurant opens locally, Fluffy and I are the first ones in line.
There is something to be said for a salsa that is crunchy with
onions, picante from jalapenos, and exotic from the cilantro leaves.
Fluffy usually goes for chicken fajitas. If there’s no chili
verde or chili colorado on the menu, I like chiles rellenos.
Whatever we order, we’re sure to have a good time.
A new place recently
opened in what used to be another establishment. I was a little
hesitant to go to this restaurant, however, because the place was
iffy for me. It is part of a small Virginia chain, and although the
one we had tried in Virginia Beach had been pretty good, the one in
Williamsburg was less than stellar. Why go to a restaurant if
there’s a fifty percent chance it’s going to stink?
You go for the company,
that’s why. Not only was Fluffy going to be there, but we were
also going to be meeting two of our favorite people for fun and
frolic. I was ready for excitement, and even if that excitement
might be accompanied by bad food, I was up for it.
Our first experience
with the cuisine came when the chips and salsa arrived.
Surprisingly, the salsa had a kick to it. This was a good sign,
because the sister restaurants south of here had salsa with no flavor
whatsoever. Bolstered by the flavor of the salsa, I decided to go
for “Our Famous Chiles Rellenos” to make my meal. How
can you go wrong when one of your favorite dishes is so good that the
restaurant claims it is famous?
I’m sure you
think you know you know where I’m going with this story. You
don’t. Pretty soon now, this rocket is headed off to Mars.
I have to admit here
that I couldn’t read the menu. Ever since I was in the
hospital, my eyes can’t read print close-up. I was wearing
Fluffy’s reading glasses, but they didn’t help much. I
kept glancing at the menu, and eventually my eyes settled on
something I was pretty sure I couldn’t be reading.
One of the words in the
description, “camarones,” was okay. That means shrimp,
and I’m fine with shrimp. Another word in the title of the
dish was “chipotle,” and I’m well aware from all
the cooking shows I watch that chipotle is simply a smoked jalapeno.
The other word was
where I got stuck. I got stuck because it looked suspiciously like
“pasta.” I am a very old person, and in all my very old
years I have never seen the word “pasta” on a Mexican
restaurant menu. I couldn’t have been seeing what I thought I
saw.
The waiter showed up at
that point, and I pointed at the mystery dish and asked him what he
thought about it. He was a bona fide Hispanic, so he couldn’t
steer me wrong.
“It’s an
awesome dish,” he said, gushing over the word awesome.
“It’s the best thing on the menu. The shrimp are
spectacular!”
“What about the
Famous Chiles Rellenos?” I asked.
He sniffed
disparagingly. “I haven’t tried those.”
“I guess I’ll
have the shrimp dish,” I said, choosing to believe that I had
misread the word “pasta.” I was unconvinced by the
choice I had made, but I can be easily swayed by a waiter. I can be
even more easily swayed by a Hispanic waiter at a Mexican restaurant.
The politically correct among you may think it’s racist of me,
but I expect the natives to be the authorities. At least I expect
them to be smarter about their cuisine than I am.
We ate mass quantities
of chips and salsa. Eventually the food arrived. The waiter put my
platter at my place with a flourish. I looked down to see a steaming
pile of — fettuccini Alfredo.
I wondered if maybe I
was experiencing one of those hallucinations that have been all too
common in this year of medical adventures. Was I really looking at a
plate of pasta? Was I just imagining what I was seeing? Or
had we really gone to an Italian restaurant and only my mind was in
Mexico?
Determined to make the
best of things, I dove right into the plate of steaming orange
fettuccini. Yes, it was a pretty darn good fettuccini Alfredo. The
chipotle made a great addition to the Alfredo sauce, and our waiter
was right about one thing: The shrimp were killer shrimp. But it
was fettuccini Alfredo, at a Mexican restaurant. This is not
something that occurs in the natural world.
I have to admit I’m
easily overwhelmed these days, but eating pasta while being
surrounded by chips and salsa and Mexican décor and peppy
south-of-the-border music made me feel like I was in the Twilight
Zone. What Mexican cook even thinks of serving fettuccini
Alfredo at a Mexican restaurant? The ones in my home town, that’s
who!
Sometimes the course
God serves to us is far different from what we would order up from
the menu of life. This has certainly been driven home to both Fluffy
and me since last December. But looking back at those events, we
both have to say that blessings have come our way that we did not
anticipate. Does this mean we want to relive a coma and a
three-month hospitalization and life in a wheelchair? I would hope
not. Once in each lifetime is enough, thank you.
But our lives are much
happier if we just sit back, enjoy the ride, and see where the roller
coaster takes us. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
When your Mexican waiter serves you pasta, you just dig in with a
hardy shout of, “Ole!”
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.