"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
Fluffy’s birthday
was last week, and it was a good day for him. The sun was out
(always a plus for Fluffy), so he went on his daily walk with a
spring in his step. When he came home, his first words were, “God
gave me a birthday present!” I turned around to see him waving
a brand new $20 bill he had found on the road in a place that was so
well-traveled that he would never have been able to return the money
to its previous owner.
I knew exactly how
Fluffy felt about getting a birthday gift from God. A few years
back, I got one too. Of course, mine wasn’t as spectacular as
a $20 bill that was given to someone who had been unemployed for
nearly three months. But my gift was exactly what I needed at the
time, which is ultimately what God gives each of us.
It happened in a year
when I was really, really tired of being fat. I had
inexplicably gained 140 pounds in a six-month period long before, and
although I was glad for the lessons I learned from the excess weight,
I was ever so weary about lugging all that fat around with me. I
didn’t like the humiliation, and I didn’t like the wear
on my joints. Oh, the pain of standing up and walking!
I was feeling chatty at
prayer time a few weeks before my birthday, so I broached the subject
with the Man Himself. “I don’t want to sound
unappreciative of all the fat You gave me,” I said. “I’m
a completely different person from who I was before I gained the
weight, and a better one. I never would have thought that gaining so
much weight would have been such a big blessing in my life, but it
was.”
“You see,
though,” I continued, “I’ve probably learned all
the lessons I’m going to learn by being fat. After all, it’s
been more than 25 years. There aren’t too many more new
fat-related experiences I can have.
“So now that I’ve
gotten the blessings, it would be wonderful if You could take the fat
back as a little birthday present for me. You gave it to me almost
overnight, and I know You can take it back overnight if You have a
mind to. I’d really appreciate it, and it would make me a lot
healthier in my declining years.”
I have to tell you
something here. I’m not a total idiot. I know that
even though God can act this way, He generally doesn’t
do so. Nevertheless, as my birthday approached, I got more and more
excited about the possibility of losing my fat as a birthday present.
Oh, did I fantasize!
And the more I thought it through, the more I realized that this was
something that was never going to happen. You see, if someone lost a
couple hundred pounds overnight, the tabloids would want to cover it.
I can’t see God working through the tabloids. The two just
don’t mix. Even if God were otherwise inclined to grant me my
fat-losing request, the tabloids alone would put a stop to it.
Bummer.
Even though I was
intellectually certain that I was going to wake up on April 3 at
exactly the same size as I’d gone to bed on April 2, I couldn’t
help being excited as I went to bed that night. I was so excited
that I awoke about every 3.2 minutes all night long for bathroom
trips, and every time I did I’d give God a little reminder.
“My birthday’s
almost here,” I would say, “and there’s plenty of
time for You to get rid of all my fat. I’m really excited
about this!” I didn’t tell Him what a blessing it would
be in my life. He already knew.
When I awoke for the
6:30 a.m. bathroom run, I was well aware that this was going to be my
last bathroom run of the night. My spirits were high, though. God
can perform His miracles in the twinkle of an eye. I gave God my
standard reminder and hopped back in bed, certain (even though I knew
there wasn’t really a prayer of it happening) that He was going
to change my body between now and the time I actually got out of bed
in the morning.
When I awoke, I knew
immediately that a change had indeed been wrought upon my body. No,
the fat hadn’t gone away. But at the bottom of my chin there
was a gigantic pimple — the kind of pimple that usually takes
days to fester before it takes over a goodly portion of your face and
turns you into a walking advertisement for the “before”
pictures in the Clearasil ads. My festering sore had taken minutes,
not days, to take over the world and lay claim on my chin.
I sat at the edge of
the bed and laughed aloud. God had indeed given me a birthday
present. It wasn’t the birthday present I had asked Him for,
but it was the birthday present I had actually needed. My birthday
pimple said, “I’m not going to take all your fat away. I
could do it, but that’s not how I work. But this birthday
pimple will remind you that I care about you, and that I listen to
your prayers, and that you are loved.”
It’s not many
people who have received I-love-you-birthday pimples. I’m
fortunate to be one of them, and that birthday pimple did the job of
putting me on top of the world for weeks after I received it. But
God seldom works in a one-dimensional way, and my birthday request
had not been forgotten.
Fast forward about ten
years. A trip to instant care turned into a trip to the hospital.
That turned into a coma and a three-month hospitalization, with lots
of complications. One complication was that I could not eat hospital
food. Period. Without diet or exercise, or even hunger, I lost 85
pounds.
Even when I left the
hospital, food tasted so horrible I couldn’t eat it. Nausea
has been a constant companion. Today, six months after the fateful
trip to instant care, my dinner is likely to be two or three saltine
crackers and a glass of milk.
The pounds are dropping
off me. Fluffy and I are seeing huge changes daily. There are great
hollows in my legs. I am starting to get a lap. My tracheostomy
scar, which I had told hospital visitors that people would never see
because it would be covered up by my chins, is now on full view to
anyone who speaks to me.
I have lost this weight
without diet or exercise — or even thinking about losing
weight, for that matter. It has melted off as if by magic, just the
way it crept onto me in that six-month period so many years ago. It
has melted off so quickly that it is as though God came in and
touched my forehead and said, “Thinner.”
Maybe He did.
My body has responded,
and if I am still a lot heavier than I was before I gained the weight
in the first place, I am nevertheless a different person than I was
before my trip to the hospital on December 5.
I have proof of that.
Just last week, when we went to the temple, I saw and waved at an old
friend whom I hadn’t seen for years. She came over to visit me
in response to my wave, but it was obvious she had no idea who I was.
Once I said my name, she kept saying, over and over, “You
don’t look at all like you used to. You’re a different
person than you used to be.”
She was right — I
am different. My experiences have changed me on the inside as well
as the outside. I hope they have changed me for the better.
But when Fluffy showed
his birthday gift from God to me the other day, I was reminded yet
again of the great blessings that come from God. Some of them are
very apparent, like a brand new $20 bill waving in the grass in front
of a birthday boy who is out of a job. Others are a little more
subtle, like a serious illness that carries the unexpected happy
benefit of a massive loss of weight.
All of them have
messages for those of us who have ears to hear. They say, “Look
what I have done for you. See how much I love you! Always remember
Me. I look forward to having you in My presence once again.”
Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than
most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the
possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at
every opportunity.
A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham
Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight
because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she
wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She
was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.
She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five
years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A
Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.
A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored
Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which
would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name
and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.
Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically
allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.
Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.