"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
Ever
built a wall around yourself? Because of hurt, fear, insecurity,
sheer busyness, or whatever?
Having
done so myself, on a number of occasions, it’s interesting to
discover (at least, it has been my experience) that sometimes I don’t
even want that wall there. It just pops up. Out of nowhere. Every
single time, there is a weakness in that wall. Wise people around me
have known how to chip away at that weak spot in order to free me
from the self-imposed prison.
I’ve
seen, or better written, felt those walls around folks many times.
Thinking of my own experience, I realize the wall can go up quickly,
or it may have been built quietly, stoically, over a long period of
time. But by finding the weak spot, I may discover (through prayerful
concern or the blessing of a lightbulb moment of heaven-given
clarity) some common ground on which to build a bridge from me to the
prisoner.
Using
communication skills, attention to detail, and the Holy Spirit, we
may become a genuine blessing as we are allowed into the heart and
mind of somebody who is shut down or walled off. Paying attention to
a talent or interest may allow that wall to slowly tumble, as we open
the gate to communication. It’s good stuff when we feel it
happen!
When
one of my grandchildren was going through a really tough time, I
watched closely to note her current habits and activities. When I
brought up the subject of dance – she was a young girl
beginning hip hop classes – her eyes lit up and she started
talking. Before long, that weakness in her self-built wall was
allowing me entrance to lovingly help it fall.
For
whatever reason, it was a ‘moment’ for her. And for me.
She jumped into dance with new joy and without the fears and
insecurities that may well have held her back from enjoying this form
of expression, exercise, and freedom.
There
was much more to it, of course. The Lord knows our concerns and He
certainly knows about those walls we build. He will work with us when
we
work with someone who needs us
to bring down the walls. He’ll do it for our own walls, too,
when we allow a concerned party to talk with us as they lovingly
chink away at the one weak spot in the wall. If a wall has a weak
spot, it’s a matter of finding it.
In
doing so, there are hearts to reach and minds to teach, and blessings
to bestow. The Savior will aid us in getting through the wall and in
building a bridge.
President
Thomas S. Monson shared this poem at General Conference October 2003.
It is long, but so worth the read. And it must be important, since it
was shared by the one who is the mouthpiece of the Lord.
“The
Bridge Builder”
by Will Allen Dromgoole
An
old man, going a lone highway,
Came
at the evening, cold and gray,
To
a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through
which was flowing a sullen tide.
The
old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The
sullen stream had no fears for him;
But
he turned when safe on the other side
And
built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old
man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,
“You
are wasting strength with building here;
Your
journey will end with the ending day;
You
never again must pass this way;
You
have crossed the chasm, deep and wide—
Why
build you the bridge at the eventide?”
The
builder lifted his old gray head:
“Good
friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There
followeth after me today
A
youth whose feet must pass this way.
This
chasm that has been naught to me
To
that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He,
too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good
friend, I am building the bridge for him.”
President
Monson said, “The message of the poem has prompted my thinking
and comforted my soul, for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was the
supreme architect and builder of bridges for you, for me, for all
mankind. He has built the bridges over which we must cross if we are
to reach our heavenly home.”
Along
the way we, too, may be as the wise old man. Seeking for the weak
spot in the wall, and relying on the help of the Savior, we can be
such a blessing. That’s pretty simple, really. Genuinely good.
And goodness matters.
Vickey Pahnke Taylor is a wife, mom, grandmother, teacher, author, and songwriter. Her
undergraduate study at BYU was musical theater. She has a Masters degree in interpersonal
communications.
A Billboard award-winning songwriter with hundreds of songs to her credit, she uses music as a
teaching tool. But her favorite way to use music has been to sing to her children. You should
hear the family's rousing versions of "Happy Birthday"!
In addition to three solo albums in the LDS market, she co-wrote "Women at the Well" with
Kenneth Cope and "My Beloved Christ: with Randy Kartchner. She is co-writer of the theme
song for Utah's Make-A-Wish foundation, the song for the Special Olympics program, and
EFY's theme song.
She writes for several online magazines and columns, and has authored several books. Her
website, www.goodnessmatters.com, is her way of continuing to grow goodness in the world,
pointing people gently toward Christ and eternal principles of truth.
She has spoken for the Church's various Youth and Family programs for 25 years. She and her
husband Dean have eight children and four grandchildren. She adores being a wife, mom and
grandmother. She loves flowers, brownies, cooking Italian and Southern foods, the ocean, and
laughing every chance she gets.
Vickey was baptized a member of the Church as a teenager in Virginia. She serves as gospel
doctrine teacher in her ward, and Dean serves on their stake high council.