Triple
filter. Sometimes I need the triple-filter process as an advanced
protection system — for me and for anyone I may speak about,
just in case I’m tempted (when upset, not thinking clearly, or
temporarily bothered) to say something I shouldn’t.
In
the most correct and Christian terms, it’s the rule we were
taught as children. “If you can’t say something nice,
don’t’ say anything at all.”
As
we’re working on ourselves — digging out a flaw here,
scouring off a personal weakness there — it’s nice to
have specific tools that assist in our divine growth.
There
is an old story about using a triple-filter process before we speak
to others. It is, obviously, paraphrased. And we’ve all heard
similar stories, with credit given to one person or another. Let’s
just give the credit to the Savior. It is His work and His Church
that gives us the necessary tools, attributes, and processes we need.
All light and goodness come from Him. And He is our way back to our
Father.
Here’s
the story. The triple filters? Truth, Goodness, and Usefulness:
In
ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high
esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,
"Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
Socrates
wisely spoke these words: "Before you talk to me about my
friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re
going to say. It is a triple-filter test.
The
first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you
are about to tell me is true?" "Well, no," the man
said, "actually I just heard about it and…"
"All
right," said Socrates. "So you don’t really know if
it’s true or not. Let us try the filter of Goodness. Is what
you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"Umm,
no, on the contrary…"
"So,"
Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about my
friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still
pass the test, though, because there’s one filter left. It is
the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend
going to be useful to me?"
"No,
not really."
"Well,"
concluded Socrates, "Why, my friend, would you want to tell me
something that is neither true, nor good, nor even useful? Would it
not be better to not tell me at all?”
Even
when I’m a whiner forty-niner, I’d be wise to remember
the triple-filter test — ever day, all the time.
Like
Winnie the Pooh, I need to carry that pot for Very Useful Things, and
pull them out when needed. Among them would be the triple-filter
test. When all is said and done, only goodness, truth, and
useful things will matter.
Christ
taught it this way: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”
If
we are to “love [our] neighbor as [our]self,” this test
will bless us on a daily basis. And it’s a pretty simple tool
to get in the habit of using.
God
bless us to take a simple, loving approach when we speak of another.
What a lovely way of simplifying our lives!
Vickey Pahnke Taylor is a wife, mom, grandmother, teacher, author, and songwriter. Her
undergraduate study at BYU was musical theater. She has a Masters degree in interpersonal
communications.
A Billboard award-winning songwriter with hundreds of songs to her credit, she uses music as a
teaching tool. But her favorite way to use music has been to sing to her children. You should
hear the family's rousing versions of "Happy Birthday"!
In addition to three solo albums in the LDS market, she co-wrote "Women at the Well" with
Kenneth Cope and "My Beloved Christ: with Randy Kartchner. She is co-writer of the theme
song for Utah's Make-A-Wish foundation, the song for the Special Olympics program, and
EFY's theme song.
She writes for several online magazines and columns, and has authored several books. Her
website, www.goodnessmatters.com, is her way of continuing to grow goodness in the world,
pointing people gently toward Christ and eternal principles of truth.
She has spoken for the Church's various Youth and Family programs for 25 years. She and her
husband Dean have eight children and four grandchildren. She adores being a wife, mom and
grandmother. She loves flowers, brownies, cooking Italian and Southern foods, the ocean, and
laughing every chance she gets.
Vickey was baptized a member of the Church as a teenager in Virginia. She serves as gospel
doctrine teacher in her ward, and Dean serves on their stake high council.
