Anyone who lives in the United States is being bombarded by political telephone calls before this national election. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the “do not call” list. If you’ve got a phone, it’s ringing.

Fluffy and I have gotten so many phone calls lately that we usually don’t even answer the phone anymore. But last night I answered the phone and was flummoxed by the caller. She never said who she was or whose organization she represented, but it may not have been an organization from Planet Earth.

First she told me how important it was that we support pro-life candidates. I can get behind that. That’s not the only criterion I use when I’m voting. Voting is a whole lot more complex than any single issue. But it’s one of the many things I look for.

It was what she said next that floored me. “Can I count on your vote for So-And-So to be the attorney general of the state of Missouri?”

I said, “What?”

She said, “Will you vote for him? He needs your vote!”

I said, “Excuse me. I live in Virginia.”

She said, “It doesn’t matter where you live. He’s running for attorney general!”

I said, “He’s running for the attorney general of the State of Missouri.”

She said, “Yes. Can he count on your vote?”

I said, “I live in Virginia.”

She said, “Does that mean you’re voting for The-Other-Guy?”

I said, “No. It doesn’t mean I’m voting for The-Other-Guy. It means I live in Virginia.”

She sighed. Heavily. She was obviously getting disgusted with me. “Ma’am. This is for the election for attorney general!”

I said, “Yes. He is running for the attorney general of Missouri. I live in Virginia.”

Her voice got hard. She was about to hang up on me. I could tell. She said, “Well, I guess I’m going to have to put you down as undecided.”

I said, “I’m not undecided! I live in Virginia!”

She just sat there, breathing.

I said, “Tell you what. If I see So-And-So’s name on the ballot, I’ll vote for him. Is that okay?”

She said, “Yes. Thank you very much.  This is an important election.  He needs your vote.”

As I hung up, I thought that might well have been the stupidest phone call I had ever taken part in. The thing is, I’m absolutely certain that the woman who called was thinking the same thing about me.

Politics makes for crazy people, and this election is making people even crazier. If your caller ID lists the telephone number 636-299-0725, you may not want to answer. Unless you live in Missouri, that is. The election for attorney general is apparently very important in that state, and the pro-life candidate is getting at least one vote fewer than his telephone pollsters think he is.