"No obstacles are insurmountable when God commands and we obey"
- - Heber J. Grant
October 8, 2012
Those Crazy Political Surveys
by Kathryn H. Kidd

Anyone who lives in the United States is being bombarded by political telephone calls before this national election. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the “do not call” list. If you’ve got a phone, it’s ringing.

Fluffy and I have gotten so many phone calls lately that we usually don’t even answer the phone anymore. But last night I answered the phone and was flummoxed by the caller. She never said who she was or whose organization she represented, but it may not have been an organization from Planet Earth.

First she told me how important it was that we support pro-life candidates. I can get behind that. That’s not the only criterion I use when I’m voting. Voting is a whole lot more complex than any single issue. But it’s one of the many things I look for.

It was what she said next that floored me. “Can I count on your vote for So-And-So to be the attorney general of the state of Missouri?”

I said, “What?”

She said, “Will you vote for him? He needs your vote!”

I said, “Excuse me. I live in Virginia.”

She said, “It doesn’t matter where you live. He’s running for attorney general!”

I said, “He’s running for the attorney general of the State of Missouri.

She said, “Yes. Can he count on your vote?”

I said, “I live in Virginia.”

She said, “Does that mean you’re voting for The-Other-Guy?”

I said, “No. It doesn’t mean I’m voting for The-Other-Guy. It means I live in Virginia.”

She sighed. Heavily. She was obviously getting disgusted with me. “Ma’am. This is for the election for attorney general!”

I said, “Yes. He is running for the attorney general of Missouri. I live in Virginia.”

Her voice got hard. She was about to hang up on me. I could tell. She said, “Well, I guess I’m going to have to put you down as undecided.”

I said, “I’m not undecided! I live in Virginia!”

She just sat there, breathing.

I said, “Tell you what. If I see So-And-So’s name on the ballot, I’ll vote for him. Is that okay?”

She said, “Yes. Thank you very much.  This is an important election.  He needs your vote.”

As I hung up, I thought that might well have been the stupidest phone call I had ever taken part in. The thing is, I’m absolutely certain that the woman who called was thinking the same thing about me.

Politics makes for crazy people, and this election is making people even crazier. If your caller ID lists the telephone number 636-299-0725, you may not want to answer. Unless you live in Missouri, that is. The election for attorney general is apparently very important in that state, and the pro-life candidate is getting at least one vote fewer than his telephone pollsters think he is.

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About Kathryn H. Kidd

Kathryn H. Kidd has been writing fiction, nonfiction, and "anything for money" longer than most of her readers have even been alive. She has something to say on every topic, and the possibility that her opinions may be dead wrong has never stopped her from expressing them at every opportunity.

A native of New Orleans, Kathy grew up in Mandeville, Louisiana. She attended Brigham Young University as a generic Protestant, having left the Episcopal Church when she was eight because that church didn't believe what she did. She joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a BYU junior, finally overcoming her natural stubbornness because she wanted a patriarchal blessing and couldn't get one unless she was a member of the Church. She was baptized on a Saturday and received her patriarchal blessing two days later.

She married Clark L. Kidd, who appears in her columns as "Fluffy," more than thirty-five years ago. They are the authors of numerous LDS-related books, the most popular of which is A Convert's Guide to Mormon Life.

A former managing editor for Meridian Magazine, Kathy moderated a weekly column ("Circle of Sisters") for Meridian until she was derailed by illness in December of 2012. However, her biggest claim to fame is that she co-authored Lovelock with Orson Scott Card. Lovelock has been translated into Spanish and Polish, which would be a little more gratifying than it actually is if Kathy had been referred to by her real name and not "Kathryn Kerr" on the cover of the Polish version.

Kathy has her own website, www.planetkathy.com, where she hopes to get back to writing a weekday blog once she recovers from being dysfunctional. Her entries recount her adventures and misadventures with Fluffy, who heroically allows himself to be used as fodder for her columns at every possible opportunity.

Kathy spent seven years as a teacher of the Young Women in her ward, until she was recently released. She has not yet gotten used to interacting with the adults, and suspects it may take another seven years. A long-time home teacher with her husband, Clark, they have home taught the same family since 1988. The two of them have been temple workers since 1995, serving in the Washington D.C. Temple.

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