"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention."
F: Is he really? Then why did you want him to play with you? Do you like playing with mean
people?
E: No.
F: Charlie's not mean. So why did he hit you?
E: I kicked down his city.
F: Yeah, you sure did. You knocked down every single block. Look at this -- there's not two
blocks where Charlie put them. Nothing that he built is left.
E: No.
F: You did a very thorough job. How long did it take you? Show me. Act it out, let me see
what you did.
E: I don't want to.
F: You don't want to show me how you kicked it all down? You don't want me to see?
E:[Ashamed] No.
F: Well, let me imagine it then. You ran here, and here, and here, and that did the job, didn't it?
It took about three kicks and it was all wrecked.
E: Maybe.
F: How long did it take him to build it?
E: I don't know.
F: Do you think he built it in three kicks? Did he just run in and swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, there
was the city?
E:[Laughing] No. It took longer.
F: It took a long time. He worked hard on it. He had a plan. Some of those buildings were
really tall. It's hard to make tall buildings, isn't it?
E: They fall over.
F: Your brother Charlie loves to make things, Erinel. He's a maker. That's one of the ways that
he's like Heavenly Father. Because he sees a bunch of blocks and he imagines what they might
be if he puts them together a certain way, and then he does it, and he's good at it, isn't he,
Erinel?
E: I'm not as good at it.
F: Not yet. You haven't had much practice.
E: I don't like doing it.
F: And you don't have to. Nobody makes you build with blocks if you don't want to. Do I ever
tell you, Erinel, you can't leave your room until you've built a tower at least four blocks high!
E:[laughing] No.
F: Could I make you build a tower? Could I hold your wrists and force you to pick up the blocks
and put them in place?
E: Maybe. You're really big and I'm just little.
F: Would it be fun? If you really didn't want to, and I made you anyway?
E: No.
F: Isn't that what you were doing with Charlie? He really didn't want to go out and play with
you right then. But you decided to make him do it. You decided that he had to come and play
with you right that minute. And if he didn't want to, you'd stop him from building his city.
{
}
E: It's no fun by myself!
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}
F: But Erinel, when you kicked down his city, did Charlie go out and play with you?
E: He hit me.
{
}
F: When you want Charlie to play with you, wrecking what he's doing doesn't work, does it?
E: No.
F: What about waiting until he finished building the city? Would that have worked?
E: It was taking so long! Hours and hours!
F: And he loves doing it, doesn't he? It makes him happy to build things. He was happy, wasn't
he? Don't you want him to be happy?
{
}
E: I wanted to play with Charlie!
F: Charlie doesn't belong to you. You don't get to decide. You can ask, but he gets to say no.
Do you understand?
E: Yes.
F: And you don't get to break what other people have built. Do you understand me? Even when
you're angry, if someone else built something, you have no right to break it.
E: If I do they'll hit me.
F: Charlie won't hit you again. He's working on that. That's not why you don't break things.
Erinel, making things is hard, but it's a good thing to do. A beautiful thing. Don't be a breaker
of things that other people made, Erinel.
E: I won't break his city again.
F: Look at these blocks scattered all over the floor. When Charlie comes back in here, it'll make
him sad to pick them up, because he'll remember how it used to be, and how it got broken. Why
don't you and I pick them up and put them away together? For Charlie.
E: Then will he play with me?
F: I don't know, Erinel. You really hurt his feelings when you broke his city. But he's your
brother, and he loves you. Do you forgive him for hitting you?
E: Yes! Yes, I do!
F: Then when we've got this all cleaned up, you go tell him that, and ask him to forgive you for
breaking his city, and see what happens.
