"Character is the one thing we make in this world and take with us into the next."
- - Ezra Taft Benson
June 13, 2014
Scientific American Offers a Surprise Gift Just in Time for Father's Day: Maybe Dads Are Important After All
by Jeff Lindsay

In a world that seems zealously devoted to downplaying the importance of gender-related roles in the family, I welcome a surprising article recently published by Scientific American that reminds of something that ought to be obvious but no longer is: children generally do best when there is a mother and a father in their lives.

Fathers count. Fatherhood is actually important, and it's not just ignorant, hateful Luddites living in a cave with their boxes of ammo and old Proposition 8 bumper stickers who say this.

It's actually the voice of reason with at least a whisper from the voice of science, or at least the voice of someone who managed to get a decent article published on Scientific American's website. Still a gift I'm glad to accept.

The article is "How Dads Influence Teens' Happiness" by Paul Raeburn (May 1, 2014, Scientificamerican.com). The article is adapted from Raeburn's book, Do Fathers Matter?: What Science Is Telling Us About the Parent We've Overlooked.

In this article, Raeburn explains that some significant scientific research recently came up with the "surprising" finding that girls are much more vulnerable to risky sexual behaviors and teenage pregnancy if they do not have a father in their lives. Those who have a close relationship with a father in their early years are less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

The key research was not done by fundamentalist Christians with an axe to grind, but by an evolutionary developmental psychologist seeking to know whether Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection can help explain how children's environments shape their development.

What he found was more than just a correlation, but evidence of causation. Fathers play an important role and are needed in the lives of girls.

The article also explores some of the fuzzier aspects of fatherhood that also matter a lot:

As parents of teenagers understand, it is often hard to know how to respond to the crises, struggles, school challenges and social difficulties that are a normal part of the passage from childhood to adulthood.

What we do matters — but it is so often hard to know what we should do. One key feature of good parenting, however, is to be accepting of teenagers, which again is often easier said than done — especially when they show up with a tattoo or call you from the principal's office.

Ronald P. Rohner of the University of Connecticut has spent some years looking at the consequences for children and teenagers of being either accepted or rejected by their parents. He thinks that parental acceptance influences important aspects of personality.

Children who are accepted by their parents are independent and emotionally stable, have strong self-esteem and hold a positive worldview. Those who feel they were rejected show the opposite — hostility, feelings of inadequacy, instability and a negative worldview.

Rohner analyzed data from 36 studies on parental acceptance and rejection and found that they supported his theory. Both maternal and paternal acceptance were associated with these personality characteristics: A father's love and acceptance are, in this regard, at least as important as a mother's love and acceptance.

That is not necessarily good news for fathers — it increases the demands on them to get this right.

“The great emphasis on mothers and mothering in America has led to an inappropriate tendency to blame mothers for children's behavior problems and maladjustment when, in fact, fathers are often more implicated than mothers in the development of problems such as these,” Rohner says.

He also explores scientific research pointing to the importance of empathy from fathers.

Naturally, he adds a reminder that this is not intended to give guilt-trips to single mothers: 

The evidence shows that fathers make unique contributions to their children. It emphatically does not show that children in families without fathers in the home are doomed to failure or anything close to that. Although fathers matter, others can help fill that role [see “Build Your Own Family” on page 48].

We all know children who grew up in difficult circumstances but now live rich and rewarding lives.... Fatherhood is about helping children become happy and healthy adults, at ease in the world, and prepared to become fathers (or mothers) themselves.

We often say that doing what is best for our kids is the most important thing we do. The new attention to fathers, and the research we have discussed here, should help all of us find our way.

Happy Father's Day!

For more from Jeff Lindsay, see Mormanity at http://mormanity.blogspot.com and his Mormon Answers section at http://jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/.

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About Jeff Lindsay

Jeff Lindsay has been defending the Church on the Internet since 1994, when he launched his LDSFAQ website under JeffLindsay.com. He has also long been blogging about LDS matters on the blog Mormanity (mormanity.blogspot.com). Jeff is a longtime resident of Appleton, Wisconsin, who recently moved to Shanghai, China, with his wife, Kendra. He works for an Asian corporation as head of intellectual property. Jeff and Kendra are the parents of 4 boys, 3 married and the the youngest on a mission.

He is a former innovation and IP consultant, a former professor, and former Corporate Patent Strategist and Senior Research Fellow for a multinational corporation.

Jeff Lindsay, Cheryl Perkins and Mukund Karanjikar are authors of the book Conquering Innovation Fatigue (John Wiley & Sons, 2009).

Jeff has a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering from Brigham Young University and is a registered US patent agent. He has more than 100 granted US patents and is author of numerous publications. Jeff's hobbies include photography, amateur magic, writing, and Mandarin Chinese.

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