Scientific American Offers a Surprise Gift Just in Time for Father's Day: Maybe Dads Are Important After All
by Jeff Lindsay
In
a world that seems zealously devoted to downplaying the importance of
gender-related roles in the family, I welcome a surprising article
recently published by Scientific
American
that reminds of something that ought to be obvious but no longer is:
children generally do best when there is a mother and
a father in their lives.
Fathers
count. Fatherhood is actually important, and it's not just ignorant,
hateful Luddites living in a cave with their boxes of ammo and old
Proposition 8 bumper stickers who say this.
It's
actually the voice of reason with at least a whisper from the voice
of science, or at least the voice of someone who managed to get a
decent article published on Scientific
American's
website. Still a gift I'm glad to accept.
In this article, Raeburn explains that some significant
scientific research recently came up with the "surprising"
finding that girls are much more vulnerable to risky sexual behaviors
and teenage pregnancy if they do not have a father in their lives.
Those who have a close relationship with a father in their early
years are less likely to engage in risky behaviors.
The
key research was not done by fundamentalist Christians with an axe to
grind, but by an evolutionary developmental psychologist seeking to
know whether Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection can help
explain how children's environments shape their development.
What
he found was more than just a correlation, but evidence of causation.
Fathers play an important role and are needed in the lives of girls.
The
article also explores some of the fuzzier aspects of fatherhood that
also matter a lot:
As
parents of teenagers understand, it is often hard to know how to
respond to the crises, struggles, school challenges and social
difficulties that are a normal part of the passage from childhood to
adulthood.
What
we do matters — but it is so often hard to know what we
should do. One key feature of good parenting, however, is to be
accepting of teenagers, which again is often easier said than done —
especially when they show up with a tattoo or call you from the
principal's office.
Ronald
P. Rohner of the University of Connecticut has spent some years
looking at the consequences for children and teenagers of being
either accepted or rejected by their parents. He thinks that parental
acceptance influences important aspects of personality.
Children
who are accepted by their parents are independent and emotionally
stable, have strong self-esteem and hold a positive worldview. Those
who feel they were rejected show the opposite — hostility,
feelings of inadequacy, instability and a negative worldview.
Rohner
analyzed data from 36 studies on parental acceptance and rejection
and found that they supported his theory. Both maternal and paternal
acceptance were associated with these personality characteristics: A
father's love and acceptance are, in this regard, at least as
important as a mother's love and acceptance.
That
is not necessarily good news for fathers — it increases the
demands on them to get this right.
“The
great emphasis on mothers and mothering in America has led to an
inappropriate tendency to blame mothers for children's behavior
problems and maladjustment when, in fact, fathers are often more
implicated than mothers in the development of problems such as
these,” Rohner says.
He
also explores scientific research pointing to the importance of
empathy from fathers.
Naturally,
he adds a reminder that this is not intended to give guilt-trips to
single mothers:
The
evidence shows that fathers make unique contributions to their
children. It emphatically does not show that children in
families without fathers in the home are doomed to failure or
anything close to that. Although fathers matter, others can help fill
that role [see “Build Your Own Family” on page 48].
We
all know children who grew up in difficult circumstances but now live
rich and rewarding lives.... Fatherhood is about helping children
become happy and healthy adults, at ease in the world, and prepared
to become fathers (or mothers) themselves.
We
often say that doing what is best for our kids is the most important
thing we do. The new attention to fathers, and the research we have
discussed here, should help all of us find our way.
Jeff Lindsay has been defending the Church on the Internet since 1994, when he launched his
LDSFAQ website under JeffLindsay.com. He has also long been blogging about LDS matters on
the blog Mormanity (mormanity.blogspot.com). Jeff is a longtime resident of Appleton,
Wisconsin, who recently moved to Shanghai, China, with his wife, Kendra.
He works for an Asian corporation as head of intellectual property. Jeff and Kendra are the parents of 4 boys, 3 married and the the youngest on a mission.
He is a former innovation and IP consultant, a former professor, and former Corporate Patent
Strategist and Senior Research Fellow for a multinational corporation.
Jeff Lindsay, Cheryl Perkins and Mukund Karanjikar are authors of the book Conquering
Innovation Fatigue (John Wiley & Sons, 2009).
Jeff has a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering from Brigham Young University and is a registered US
patent agent. He has more than 100 granted US patents and is author of numerous publications.
Jeff's hobbies include photography, amateur magic, writing, and Mandarin Chinese.