As
we approach General Conference in a few days, I wonder what themes
will stand out. The brethren are not given assigned topics, but are
tasked with the responsibility to ponder and pray, finding the
direction of the Holy Ghost to prepare whatever words the Lord
individually desires them to offer to us.
When
all the sessions are done, there is often an overall thread of
meaning. Last conference, I felt that many talks, whatever their
specific topic, were focused on hope and encouragement, that our
hearts will not fail in the darkness that increases in the world
around us.
We
had a tender class in Relief Society this month, as the designated
“Teachings for Our Times” lesson, which centered on the
talk last October by Elder Shayne M. Bowen of the Seventy. Titled,
“Because
I Live, Ye Shall Live Also”, it
addressed the question of infant baptism and the message of the
restored gospel that little children are saved in Christ’s
atonement.
The
teacher is a young mother, with a child not quite walking. She
became emotional as she started the lesson, and then tried to
apologize, saying that she wasn’t sure why this was hitting her
so hard. I thought silently, empathetically, that I knew why
— it was because she had a child, and she had also lost a
pregnancy earlier. The idea of losing a child hits at a level deeper
than any words, and the experience of losing that hope and then
succeeding to carry the next easily brings feelings close to the
surface.
Elder
Bowen tells of a family he and his companion taught in Chile, who
embraced the message and blessings of the gospel when they learned
that there is an answer to the question, what happens to the little
ones who die without baptism? They had buried a tiny son who died
before their priest could baptize him. The priest had no other
answer to give them other than that he would be lost in limbo
eternally. He could not offer hope, but these young missionaries
could through the revealed truths and promises of the gospel.
Elder
Bowen went on to tell that he and his wife had had a son die also.
He said,
I
remember writing to my family[as a missionary], expressing the
gratitude that I felt in my heart for the knowledge of this and so
many other plain and precious truths of the restored gospel of Jesus
Christ. I never dreamed how this wonderful true principle would
come back to me in future years and prove to be my balm of Gilead.
I
would like to speak to those who have lost a child and have asked the
question, “Why me?” or maybe even questioned your own
faith in a loving Father in Heaven. It is my prayer that by the power
of the Holy Ghost, I may bring some measure of hope, of peace, and of
understanding. It is my desire to be an instrument in bringing about
a restoration of your faith in our loving Father in Heaven, who knows
all things and allows us to experience trials so that we can come to
know and love Him and understand that without Him we have nothing.
Their
son was eight months old when he choked on a piece of chalk and died.
We have all had the experience of finding a baby with something in
his or her mouth that he shouldn’t have. Sometimes we can
pounce, intercepting it on its way to the mouth, sometimes after it’s
in but before it goes down. Sometimes it comes scary close, because
we all know that what happened to this much-loved little boy can
indeed happen to any child.
I
was grateful to an experienced mother who showed me how to beat any
baby’s attempt to swallow the wrong thing. (Pinch the baby’s
two cheeks with thumb and forefinger, which forces their mouth open,
then sweep the mouth with the forefinger of the other hand.) Any
child can be lost. Sometimes it’s a wonder any of us live to
grow up.
The
hope and promise of the gospel of Christ is that our children, saved
in the gift of Jesus Christ, sealed in the holy temple, will never be
lost. One of the sisters in our Relief Society, now a grandmother,
lost a baby to SIDS.
One
of our ward sisters said that her mother had lost a child and later,
looking for a church, asked every priest and minister where her baby
was now and what would happen to him. None had an answer that helped
her, until she met with the Mormon missionaries. Her grown daughter
had already joined the Church at that time, but her mother wasn’t
interested until she found out that there was an answer to this
long-felt grief.
This
tender assurance speaks deeply to any of us. Little children are
alive in Christ, are received in joy and glory. We don’t need
to mourn for their sakes, though we grieve.
Sometimes
a talk in Conference can paint the breadth of the universe; sometimes
a Conference talk etches a very fine, distinct truth that penetrates
on the most personal level. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings us all
of it.
Marian J. Stoddard was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in its Maryland suburbs. Her
father grew up in Carson City, Nevada, and her mother in Salt Lake City, so she was always
partly a Westerner at heart, and she ended up raising her family in Washington State. Her family
took road trips all over the United States and Canada, so there were lots of adventures.
The adventures of music, literature, and art were also valued and pursued. Playing tourist always
included the local museums as well as historical sites and places of natural beauty. Discussions
at home, around the dinner table or working in the kitchen, could cover politics, philosophy, or
poetry, with the perspective of the gospel underlying all. Words and ideas, and testimony and
service, were the family currency.
Marian graduated from Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland, and attended the
University of Utah as the recipient of the Ralph Hardy Memorial Scholarship, where she was
graduated with honors, receiving a B.A. in English. She also met the love of her life, a law
student, three weeks after her arrival; she jokes that she had to marry him because her mother
always wanted a tenor in the family. (She sings second soprano.) They were married two years
later and have six children and six grandchildren (so far). She treasures her family, her friends,
and her opportunities to serve.
Visit Marian at her blog, greaterthansparrows. You can contact her at
bloggermarian@gmail.com.
Marian and her husband live in Tacoma, Washington. Together they teach those who are
preparing to go to the temple for the first time, and she also teaches a Stake Relief Society
Institute class.