My five-year-old
recently informed me of his current “what I want to be when I
grow up” list. It went like this:
"When I grow up I
want to be a superhero, a buffalo saver, an owl saver, an astronaut,
a police officer, a construction worker who drives a crane, a monster
truck driver, and an artist."
Impressive list. I
smiled when he shared it with me, and then tried to picture that
huge-blue-eyed, freckle-nosed, sweet little boy as an adult. It’s
always a tall order to fill, to imagine these littles as bigs. Yet
always very humbling when I peer into my magical futuristic mothering
ball and am once again reminded of all the things that will or might
cross our paths in the coming years. Even now, with my oldest on the
horizon of turning double digits, I am learning how easy and
relatively simple the early years really are. Teething, sleeping
through the night and temper tantrums pale in comparison to the
thought of my kids entering middle or high school, dating, driving,
preparing for missions and college and, well, their own lives.
Parenting is another area where the “line upon line”
adage applies perfectly.
In light of my job of
helping them to find their futures and maximize their potential, what
my kids don’t know is that while they dream of all the amazing
things they think life will be like when they are grown up (I have
long since given up trying to tell them that it isn’t always
what’s it’s cracked up to be), I am secretly filling
their young lives with knowledge and direction and ideas to help them
on that path. It’s disguised as field trips, projects, books,
activities, even Scouts, so as to appear fun. I’m sneaky like
that.
Growing up, education
beyond high school was never an “if,” but rather a “when”
and “where.” Both of my parents have bachelor’s
degrees; with college being an expectation, an underlying current
that wasn’t forced but rather always an assumed option, I never
doubted that any of my siblings or myself would obtain college
degrees. And now, as the oldest of five children, I find myself the
least educated; I have a bachelor’s degree, my two sisters
either have a master’s in education or are working toward one,
and both of my brothers have law degrees (the second to be received
in a few short months).
I remember once, on the
brink of high school graduation, discussing my future with my dad,
and him telling me, “You can be anything you want to be. You
could even be the President (of the United States)!” No thanks.
But I did like knowing I had options, that I could consider my
talents and desires, and then put my mind to just about anything and
find some measure of success there.
As a mom now, I take
very seriously my responsibility to: 1. teach my children the
importance of work 2. help them find their interests, talents and
hobbies, and how those might translate to successful careers and
lives someday.
My oldest child had a
rough day at school a few weeks ago and made a couple of poor
choices, resulting in my husband and I having an impromptu meeting
with the principal and a few of his teachers. For the next few days I
mulled over what would be an appropriate consequence, and then
settled on what I knew would be absolutely the right one: he loves to
play and gets very frustrated by having to work. Therefore, I would
take a part of his Saturday, normally his favorite day of the week,
and fill it with work. In a half-day, he vacuumed the main level and
the stairs; unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher; washed a bunch of
dishes; swept the kitchen floor; scrubbed out the inside of the
kitchen trash can; sorted and did a load of laundry; folded and put
away clothes; washed walls and baseboards; scrubbed one bathroom; and
hauled out trash. A few of these are his normal chores, many are not.
He had a surprisingly good attitude and work ethic. I was reminded of
the importance of work for curing what ails, and I hope he learned
what President Hinckley taught about ‘forgetting about oneself
and getting to work.” I know my son felt a real sense of
accomplishment that day.
And when I notice one
of my children discovering a talent or interest, I seize upon the
opportunity to point out how it might help them down the road. “You
like to design and build things – you might make a good
engineer some day!” Or, “You are really good with words
and tell wonderful stories. Perhaps you’ll be a writer when you
grow up.”
I’m fairly
certain no parent ever dreamed that her child would grow up to be
addicted to playing video games, becoming so good at them he stays up
all night playing and then can’t get to work in the morning, or
that his child bounces from one minimum wage job to the next.
The problem, however,
is that some parents simply don’t dream for their children,
don’t teach them to set goals and work hard for them. This
major oversight can have nightmarish consequences.
I love hearing any
child dreaming about what they want to be someday. Even if for now
“buffalo saver” is on the list.
Melissa Howell was born and raised in the woods of northern Minnesota. She has a degree in
journalism from the University of Minnesota.
As a single 20-something, she moved to Colorado seeking an adventure. She found one, first in
landing her dream job and then in landing her dream husband; four children followed.
Upon becoming a mother, she left her career in healthcare communications to be a stay-at-home
mom, and now every day is an adventure with her husband Brian and children Connor (9), Isabel
(6), Lucas (5) and Mason (2).
In addition, she is a freelance writer and communications consultant for a variety of
organizations.
Melissa serves as Assistant director of media relations for stake public affairs and Webelos den leader