We speak of immortality as if it were always a good thing. But not everything
we create needs to last forever.
When I direct plays in the stake or ward, the participants usually have so
much fun and bond so closely that, as we near the performance dates, some
cast members will start saying, "Oh, if only this could last forever!" "Oh, it
makes me so sad that this is going to end!"
But I know something they don't know -- if rehearsals and performances went
on too long, they'd get sick of them.
The intensity simply cannot be maintained. After a while, you'd just stop
caring as much.
The only reason you look back so fondly on a wonderful experience in theatre is
that it's over. If it weren't over, you couldn't look back on it, fondly or any
other way!
Some things we make -- like marriages and children -- are meant to go on and
on, because they keep having new meaning and the experience keeps changing.
Even our ward and stake callings keep on going -- only the person who holds
the calling changes. That's one of the reasons it's hard for some people to let
go of their callings -- because it can be so devastating, after having poured
your soul into a calling for months or years, to leave that job and then watch
someone else doing it!
At least when I'm through directing a play, the whole play is done with.
Nobody else continues after me, changing all the blocking and the
interpretation of the lines and maybe tossing out the whole second act to write
a new one.
Endings put a frame around the experience, so you can understand what you
have done.
Which brings me to the Relief Society program of Enrichment. The wardwide
meetings (once called "Homemaking") were scaled back to four a year, with a
couple more put on by the stake.
In addition to the formal meetings, the sisters in each ward are supposed to
take part in "Enrichment Activities." Church policy says that these events are
"less structured" and "bring together sisters who have common needs,
interests, or circumstances."
Some sisters might band together in what amounts to a support group that
goes on and on -- and that's fine.
The trouble in many wards, though, is that they'll start up book groups,
exercise groups, scrapbooking groups, playgroups for moms with small
children, and after a few meetings, people drift away, until they fizzle out
completely.
Some Relief Society presidencies find this discouraging. They think the groups
have all "failed."
You have to change perspective. If you drive three days to get to grandma's
house, has the trip "failed" because on the fourth day you're no longer driving?
Of course not! You stopped driving because you got there.
Enrichment Activities need to start with a destination in mind. Then, when
you get there, that group disbands. Friendships that formed during the project
might continue; the sisters all know each other better; they've learned new
skills. Now they can all move on to the next activity and the next group.
While she was still stake Relief Society president, my wife got to see what
worked and what didn't work. Here's what she wrote about it in a discussion
at Nauvoo.com:
"What I've seen work best are small group activities that have between one and
four sessions and then are over. Sometimes those sessions have been held
three weeks in a row, sometimes they met once a month, sometimes every
other week, depending on the group and the goal."
What kinds of E.A.s worked best?
A three-week cooking class on "easy" gourmet cooking techniques. It was held
at a sister's home, not the meetinghouse kitchen, and it was excellent and
popular.
A four-session class for beginning knitters. The instructor had one project in
mind; she taught the basics, helped them complete the task, and then it was
over.
(Some sisters asked to go on, and she led a second project with that group.
But nobody thought the group had "failed" because some of the sisters did not
stay with it. They had completed the four-session course.)
A three-session home storage course -- one on storage techniques, one on
using a variety of grains, one on successful breadmaking.
More than one E.A. has focused on Family Home Evening activities. One was
about planning your FHEs for the year -- the instructor brought tons of
resources and planning sheets. Another was on making visual aids for a
particular lesson on the Plan of Salvation (that took two sessions.)
A two-session activity on making a "quiet book" that taught gospel principles
using the sisters' own family photos.
A three-session intro to Art History. My wife taught this one. She had a dozen
sisters attend, and "we had a terrific time. What I loved noticing most was this
course got sisters together who were not particularly friends before. But all of
a sudden they realized they had an interest in common and became better
friends."
A two-session course on dog training. All the dogs and their owners spent a
couple of hours in the church parking lot on two Saturday mornings, learning
techniques from a sister in the ward -- and enjoying their pets together.
A one-session course on CPR -- everyone who attended got certified.
A one-session course on hair-braiding.
A two-session course on learning to conduct the hymns.
Then there was the stakewide "Project Linus" service project. The stake Relief
Society presidency didn't set goals or quotas or make assignments. The wards
were invited to participate in any way they chose.
Some just announced it in their ward and handed out patterns. Others had
small group activities on teaching crocheting or quilting or no-sew blanket
techniques.
But each sister had the goal of producing one blanket for the project -- and
then they were officially finished. Some didn't stop with one, and of course the
stake gratefully collected and passed along the additional blankets. But it was
not a burden, assignment, or duty for anyone.
At the next stake Enrichment Activity, the many blankets were displayed all
over the cultural hall. The sisters got to see how much they had accomplished
together. Since the activity was over, they could look back on with joy.
But successful E.A.s don't just happen. As my wife learned, "One of the keys is
making sure that the person in charge of the group is very committed -- but
it's a short term assignment, so they can pour some effort into it and know it
will be over with.
"The person in charge needs to be sure she doesn't just take a sign-up list
given to her by the RS presidency and figure those people will actually show
up." The sign-up list is just the starting point -- phone calls, invitations,
reminders all help to make the activity succeed.
And since my wife is the one who actually drew this list together (for that post
on Nauvoo.com), I'll let her have the last word:
"Groups that are not expected to go on forever have a much better chance of
success. New skills are taught, new friends are made, and we go on to
something else. It's been fun to see new friendships and connections made
inside the wards when sisters discover other sisters who care about the same
thing."
Orson Scott Card is the author of the novels Ender's Game, Ender's
Shadow, and Speaker for the Dead, which are widely read by adults and
younger readers, and are increasingly used in schools.
Besides these and other science fiction novels, Card writes contemporary
fantasy (Magic Street,Enchantment,Lost Boys), biblical novels (Stone Tables,Rachel and Leah), the American frontier fantasy series The Tales of Alvin Maker
(beginning with Seventh Son), poetry (An Open Book), and many plays and
scripts.
Card was born in Washington and grew up in California, Arizona, and
Utah. He served a mission for the LDS Church in Brazil in the early 1970s.
Besides his writing, he teaches occasional classes and workshops and directs
plays. He also teaches writing and literature at Southern Virginia University.
Card currently lives in Greensboro, North Carolina, with his wife,
Kristine Allen Card, and their youngest child, Zina Margaret.